


Mon Guiseppe

by deathcomealive



Category: Blink-182
Genre: All the chapter's names are food puns, Chef AU, Crack, I try to be funny at least, M/M, Mentions of past relationship with Tom, restaurant AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2018-10-07 00:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10348485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathcomealive/pseuds/deathcomealive
Summary: Mark Hoppus is the manager and co-owner of a high-end first class restaurant in LA. Though trouble arrives in paradise when his chef/co-owner/best-friend has to leave them to teach her class across the country, and they need to find a replacement, though the one they land with happens only to be the clumsiest motherfu**er ever.





	1. Crabbie Diem

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own them and this has never happened obviously. Yale or any other entities mentioned her have nothing to do with it or me and this is all false I don't even know if these colleges have gastronomy schools...
> 
> I know Matt doesn't show up in this one yet, but it's more to set the tone on the situation and the setting, the next chapter should be up in a couple of days though. And again, like all fics I've written, don't expect this to be left unfinished, I am three chapters away from being all done and I already have the ending in mind. 
> 
> I hope you guys really enjoy it <3

Candles, lit.

Napkins, folded.

Silverware, placed.

Today has to go perfect, today has to go perfect.

Like every other day.

Glasses, crystal clear.

Dishes, rea…

_“FUCK!”_

A heavy thud and a scream comes from the kitchen as soon as I finish tracking the list of things in my head, I blink twice, trying to just remotely think of what was going on. I sigh and look down; I shake my head and fix the bowtie around my neck before walking towards the kitchen. I open the huge door that leads towards it and I breathe deeply once I am inside. 

The first thing I see before my eyes is a man sitting down on the floor, I cannot see his face and hair, which is covered in tomato sauce.

“Hey” The man smiles up at me, which is when I notice he has an entire cabbage on his hand, which is also covered in sauce. 

I sigh worriedly once again, “Is that the cabbage I had to ask to be grown in a green house, Skiba?” I ask in borderline outrage 

The man raises it towards me, as if offering some, trying to play it cool “You want a cabbage, boss?”

“ANGELA!” I scream and turn away, stomping out of the kitchen furiously

***

**Five weeks Before**

“Chandler, the couple from table five wants a cold dish with grapes instead of dried tomatoes on their entrée, because of course dried tomatoes suck” I say and the waiter laughs “Quick up your pace, you’re falling behind the others” I say quickly while reaching up to one of the other waiters and the young man nods to me

“Of course, Mr. Hoppus. Will do" 

"Good” I point towards his general direction and start walking towards the grand salon where most of the tables of the restaurant were. 

“How is the meal, dear guests? Would you like some more wine?” I ask courteously as I stop at a random table

“Oh yes, sure! The dish is delicious!” The man smiles as I pick up their bottle of fancy wine and their glasses, pouring more into them

“The duck is exquisite!” The woman smiles up at me, her long red nails reaching for the wine glass as soon as I place it back on the table

“Oh, why, thank you! It’s always a pleasure, enjoy your meal!” I smile politely at her before leaving and starting to walk towards the kitchen. I tighten the bowtie of my suit and my shoulders relax as soon as I walk in 

“Mark!” I hear someone shriek behind myself _“MARK!"_

I quickly turn around and all I can see is the chef, Angela, running towards me. She jumps on my direction and I stumble a bit backwards when I pick her up onto my arms.

"Oh, I… What’s going on?” I frown confused as she continues squealing

“I just got the spot to teach a class in _YALE!_ ” Angela shrieks excitedly, gesturing her arms around “Fucking Yale Gastronomy School wants me!”

“Oh my god!” I smile big and pull her into the tightest hug “Angela that’s great news!”

“It is! I know! I’m so excited!”

“This has been your dream for so long!!!”

“I know!”

“For how long will you be there?” I ask as I grab her by the shoulders, taking a good look at her glowing face “A week? Two?”

Angela sighs, the smile falters from her face, she looks around a little helplessly and suddenly turns serious and somewhat sad, she takes a few steps away from me and recoils.

“A month?” I ask now a bit more worried, she should have said something by now

“A year, actually...” She tells me sadly and I can feel my eyes widening in surprise, my head goes back a little in shock and I gulp dryly, the noises from the kitchen and the cooks going on around us, as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had changed.

As if she didn't just throw this bomb on me

 _“What?”_ I ask her a bit quietly, heart-broken “You can’t leave for a year! What am I going to do without you?!? You’re a co-owner after all!”

“I know!” Angela puts both hands inside the pockets of her dark green uniform, her name braided in pink over her heart, she looks up to me with pity in her eyes “But I can’t pass up an opportunity like this”

“Yale is all the way across the country!” I tell her while shaking my head 

“I know geography, Mark” Angela chuckles, trying to break the ice, but I notice it’s a sad gesture. 

“Have you told Travis yet?”

“You’re the first one I’m telling actually, I just got the news…” Angels explains and I nod “Can… Can we go into the meeting room, please?”

“Of course” I answer and Angela nods, telling her helpers in the kitchen what they need to do for the time she will be absent with me. We walk further down the kitchen and walk into a fancily decorated room with a wooden table in the center and four chairs around it. I sigh and sit down in one while Angela sits by my side; she places a hand on my back and rubs circles on it, trying to calm me down, and while I appreciate the gesture, It does not help much in my nervousness.

“I am so happy for you, you know that, right?” I ask her reassuringly and Angela smiles sweetly at me

“I know, I wouldn’t have doubted of that” She nods towards my direction “I am worried too, you know?”

“You… You have any idea of who could replace you?” I wonder, “You think Mikel can stay in your place?”

Angela quickly makes a face and shakes her head “I know he’s the only cook who has been with us since the beginning but I don’t really trust him, he’s kind of petty… I find it interesting that you haven’t asked about Rebecca, she’s the sous-chef, she should be the first option, right?”

“No, Rebecca is going to be the head chef for sure, but we do need a new Sous-chef...” I remember her, trying to calm her down a little

“Oh yeah, that totally didn’t cross my mind” Angela’s eyes widen “I mean, I had been discussing the Yale thing for a couple of weeks now; I was waiting to see how it played out before making any big steps”

“Were you even planning to tell Travis and I?” I suddenly frown, a little hurt, it is not common of Angela to not tell us stuff, but I guess since this was a big step, she should be afraid of how we were going to react, even if we support her no matter what

I know I would be scared shitless

“If you’ve known this for a while, why didn’t you say anything?”

 _“Because!_ ” Angela sighs, “I didn’t want to jinx it or anything, I just thought it was for the best to just keep it to myself, you know? I didn’t want the two of you thinking I was a failure if it didn’t happen…”

I chuckle and shake my head; I look over to Angela and try to give her a comforting smile, as I reach for her hand “We would never think that of you, you know that, right?” I ask and she chuckles at me as well “I mean, you’re a Yale graduate!” I laugh, “You’re the only of us who actually have any full college experience and you run this place over your shoulder, Angela! This place is what it is because you are in here. You are barely 45 years old and you are already Yale faculty! That’s insane!”

“Oh well, thank you, Mark” She smiles at me as I still hold her hand “I guess we need to talk to Travis now, huh?” Angela asks and I take a quick look at my watch

“It’s Tuesday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, did he say he’d come today?”

“He told me he would be here in what is like 10 minutes from now, actually,” I say and suddenly, on cue, we both hear a knock on the door. Angela and I exchange confused looks for a second “Come in!” I yell over my shoulder and the door opens, Travis peaks his head inside and smiles at us

“Hello!” He says as he walks in, both Angela and I get up to greet him “How is my super team? And doing a meeting without me?!? I feel outraged!” Travis jokes and asks eagerly as he reaches out to give me a hug and a pat on the back. Travis then turns to Angela, giving her a more heart-warming hug and kissing her head

“We’re amazed!” I gesture with my hand when Travis walks over to Angela, now patting her blonde curly hair “Angela has great news!”

“Well, what is it?” Travis asks and looks at her, Angela can only giggle like a school girl

“I got offered a teaching position in Yale!” She tells him and Travis smiles big

“You _WHAT?”_ He asks and she nods

“You heard me right!”

“That’s amazing news, Ange!” Travis hugs her again and lifts her off the ground in the hug “That’s great! Congratulations! I know this is your dream!”

“Thank you, Travis!” Angela smiles and I walk over to them

“Now a big co-owners hug!” I say and both Travis and I smother her into hugs, she can only laugh at us, being childish as ever

“Can’t. Breathe!” Angela fakes it a little and we all laugh as we step away. I gesture for them so we can all sit at the table again and continue to discuss our plans.

I laugh at something Travis just said and suddenly I look at the empty chair across from me on the table like I do every time we have these meetings; I sigh sadly and turn back to my colleagues, who are chatting up excitedly, not noticing what I had just done.

“So, when do you leave?” Travis asks

“I leave in the end of August, but lectures only start at the beginning of September. I feel like I should get things ready first and get familiar with the surroundings and stu…”

“Wait wait wait” I interpose as soon as a bell rings in my head “It is August already! I mean, today is August 5th!”

“I know, Mark,” Angela laughs

“You leave in less than a month!”

“I know! So we need to talk about this now!”

“Okay” I sigh, slumping back on my chair. I try to get my shit together as I turn to Travis “Angela was telling me how she doesn’t want Mikel to be the main chef…”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s a good idea either” Travis shakes his head, agreeing with the both of us “He would try to save on everything to help his budget and god knows we don’t want that. I feel like he would not be fit to sit here at this table with us and actually have a grown-up conversation… We would have to turn to Rebecca but she’s also leaving soon…”

“What about the other cooks? Brett? Kathy?” I point out

“Well, you’re the one working with them daily; you should know what’s best…” Travis tells her

“I think we can go out, interview a few people, talk to some other chefs, get someone to come in and work with Rebecca and I for the time before I leave” Angela suggests

 

“Sounds like a plan” Travis nods

“I think we should call Rebecca in here and start looking for chefs and resumes; I want everyone on this, am I clear?” Angela asks and looks at both Travis and I, giving us stern eyes and pratically forcing us to voice out a yes to her pleasure “I want to start interviewing people tomorrow or at least the day after, we cannot waste another second!”

“I agree,” Travis nods again “I’m going to tell Rebecca we’ll need her to stay after we close, emergency meeting”

Travis leaves the room as soon as he is done talking. Angela looks over to me, I stop biting onto my nails nervously, noticing that she is looking at me now. Angela sighs to herself when I do bring my hand down. I hadn’t noticed I had been nervous like that

“Honey, what’s wrong?” She asks and I sigh again

“Are you going to come back to LA after that year?” I ask her worriedly

“Mark… I- Nothing is certain yet, I mean, I want to find a job there, maybe open another restaurant, a smaller one; I cannot live off from just Yale! I am only teaching one class! I want to write books and I have my own life plans, you know?”

“You see Trav and I in them?” I ask looking down to my hands, upset and scared

Angela sighs broken-heartedly and shakes her head “I don’t know…”

I feel something boiling on my chest, stinging it. I look over to the empty chair, my breathing now being hitched by the second. Angela notices what is going on

“I’m not leaving you behind, Mark” She smiles comforting “I don’t want to sell my share! I don’t want to walk out on you and Travis!”

“You just said you don’t know!” I say while hissing my teeth, I suddenly notice my change of mood

“Well, I am sure not having my attorney call you on a rainy day to drop everything on you and then disappearing for _two years_!” Angela shouts at me, pointing over to the chair and making sure, she knew where I was coming from “Don’t you dare comparing me to that! I am not that low!”

I get up huff out angrily, I feel my hands involuntarily closing into fists and I look over at her direction, mad and enraged, both of us “I can’t believe you’re actually thinking about not coming back!”

“Mark! Yale is my dream! You know it has always been! You cannot accuse me of something just because you have trust and abandonment issues from a relationship that ended badly!”

"You have no right to talk about this!" 

Angela sighs "You and Tom really deserved each other" She says and with that she storms out the room, closing the door with a loud bang behind herself. 

I can only huff out more angrily than before, some part of me cannot believe she has said these things to me, and another part cannot believe I am still hurt about everything that happened even though it has been five years. I scream loudly into the void, trying to impose my somewhat childish statement.

I make sure to not ever let anyone else see my eyes fill up with tears when I lock myself into the bathroom


	2. Bread Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo! I'm sorry this one took so much time, and I know Matt still doesn't show up but I need these to be out now for the story to make sense but at least he's mentioned...? Thank you so much for reading again, I love you all <3

“Mikel, get the fish ready! Brett, I need that salmon salad now! The guests have already waited too much, pick on Mikel, this is his fault!” Angela shouts as she walks around with a bowl of dried gnocchi on her hands

“Sure thing, boss” Brett rushes over to Mikel’s side on the table, talking something to him.

I walk into the kitchen casually, trying to play it cool even though Angela and I had fought and argued the night before. I am aware that they know I stormed out even before we had our meeting with Rebecca. Angela sees me walking in and gives me a look, nodding her head so I would come over, which shows that my plan has obviously failed

I pull on my tie a little and walk over to where Angela and Rebecca are working on a sauce

“Taste this” Rebecca tells me as she hands over a wooden spoon, raising it up my lips. I frown and give her a questioning look before licking it

“What is in this?” I make a face and ask a bit disgusted

“I told you” Rebecca turns to Angela, who rolls her eyes

“It must be tomatoes…” Angela sighs “Call the produce girl; tell her to bring a new batch of tomatoes right now! If she insists she doesn’t have any call Jack, that’s why we have his number” Rebecca nods and leaves the kitchen, I place myself behind Angela creepingly.

“I’m sorry about last night,” I tell her earnestly, "I didn't mean to compare you to you-know-who"

“Mark, he comes over once a month, you can say his name”

“I rather not”

Angela sighs and turns around to look at me as she shakes her head “You were allowed to have one outburst. You already used up your coupon, so remember that...” She tells me as she smiles and points a finger to my face. I nod compellingly

“So, how are things going? About the interviews?” I ask her with a smile, trying to break the ice

“There is a girl coming in tonight and I have three others tomorrow morning” Angela explains as she licks the spoon again “God, this is useless” She shakes her head and makes a face, throwing the spoon back into the sauce

“Sound great” I nod “If anything you call me, you know that, right?”

“Sure hon” Angela smiles and I turn away to get back into the restaurant.

***

Travis and I sit at one of the tables in the entrance of the restaurant, one of our waiters, Clarisse, is going around prepping the tables and settling silverware. Travis types something onto his calculator and squints at it.

“Stop trying to make math happen, we both know you suck at it” I sigh as I take another sip from my coffee, amusedly watching my friend crack the numbers in his head. Travis only throws the calculator casually into the table, taking off his glasses as well

“Yeah, you’re right” He sighs and slumps back on his chair, looking at me while I still have on my normal clothes before the restaurant opens. That is when the front door opens and a woman walks through, she has brown hair with a dip dye of pink at the tips. She is wearing an all-white dress and has her hair in a ponytail as she walks in with a huge bouquet of flowers on her arms, pulling a red wagon with more flowers in it.

“Hellooooo Mon Giuseppe!!!” She shrieks and Travis smiles excitedly, getting up and walking towards the girl, giving her a breath-taking kiss. I get up as well and take the flowers away from her arms, letting her enjoy the moment “Thanks Mark” She smiles as soon as she pulls away from the kiss.

“You’re welcome, Susan” I say as I also take the wagon from her grip “Clarisse! Help me over, we need to put these at the tables,” I shout and the waitress rushes over, sitting down with me to start setting up the table arrangements.

“What did you do to your hair?” Travis laughs as he closes the main front door and ushers his girlfriend inside

“Just felt like it, you know?” Susan shrugs “Did you like it?”

“Anything looks good on you, babe” Travis smiles amazed by her again and gives her a quick kiss, admiring her smile afterwards. Angela and a young man walk out from the kitchen right then

“So, this is the grand dining hall…” Angela laughs nervously as she shows him around, leading him to the front door “And that is the front door” She smiles as she steps in front of it, opening to the outside

“When will I be able to hear anything back?” The man asks, raising a finger curiously

“We’ll give you a call,” Angela adds quickly, pointing outside

“But I didn’t finish telling you the story of my cat’s su-” The man starts but Angela just wraps an arm around him, leading him outside. Susan, Travis and I look between each other confused until Angela walks inside by herself “He had a huge blo-”

Angela closes the door abruptly

“What the hell was that?” Travis asks confused

“He was so annoying!” Angela whines “And he was perfect! However, God I would rather kill myself than hire him, I do not hate you guys that much… Susan! Hey!” She smiles and walks over to hug Travis’s girlfriend “How was the trip to Chicago?!?”

“Great! It was amazing!” Susan smiles as they all move to sit with me at the table to help with the flowers; I dismiss Clarisse so she could go back to what she had been doing before “Travis told me about Yale! Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” Angela smiles

“How is the search for the new chef going?” I ask in a pop-up as I admire one of the flower set-ups I had just made, smiling proudly at it. I knew I looked like a fool though

“Horrible, I have found one person I liked so far, but I wanted to find at least three so I could show the two of you and we could all make a final decision together” Angela explains “I have five interviews set for tomorrow but honestly I’m scared nothing will come out from it…”

“You’re just taking anyone in for interviews?” Susan frowns “Like this is American Idol?”

“Yeah, pretty much” Angela laughs tiredly, running a hand through her golden locks of her hair “I’m desperate here”

“Well…” Susan starts, craning her head to the side a little as she gave herself some thought “I have this friend from Chicago, that the restaurant he worked at just closed and he is looking for a job, he would love to move in here if needed…”

“Really? Is he any good?” Angela asks interested

“He’s amazing! He is a Princeton kid, he lived in France for two years and he has done everything! Finished top of his class and was the chef at one of Chicago’s best restaurants for over ten years and he… He’s perfect, Angela, I’m telling you!”

“Wow!” Angela’s eyes widen, as she looks at Susan breath-taken “That’s amazing! I would love to! By what you say he has more experience than all candidates I interviewed today combined!”

“Where do you know him from?” I asks curiously

“He was my best friend as a kid and as a teen, basically our families were neighbors and I met up with him while I was there this time, he had to move in back with his parents because he doesn’t want to waste money he doesn’t have, you know? He would so be willing to come into the city for an interview though…”

“Well, if he could talk on Skype with me first that would be good, and if I get a couple of good references of him he can come into the final trio already…”

“Really?!?” Susan’s eyes widen

“Yeah, you’re talking so much about him! I trust you, girl, you’re part of our family…”

“God, that’s amazing, he will be thrilled!” Susan smiles big and gets up, grabbing her phone from her purse “I’m going to give him a call, give him the news and tell him to talk to you”

“I’m going with you” Angela gets up as well, “If anything we can talk now… I am on fire!”

“Great!” Susan giggles as they both leave into the back of the restaurant. Travis and I just stare at each other

“I’m terrible with flowers” Travis sighs as he throws the set he had been working on the table

“I can see” I laugh as my friend gives me a death glare

***

 _“Table for three”_ I quietly say under my breath as I pick up the menus, I walk back to the three giggling girls waiting to be seated “Follow me, ladies” I smile as I hear their heels clicking when we walk around. I sit them at a table, handing them the menus and skipping out on telling them our daily special since Angela is too busy and in no way able to run the kitchen right now.

One of the waiters comes by from behind me after I was done talking to them, I let him, and it was common they did that when something was wrong or when Angela needed me. “Hm, Mark?” He asks a bit nervous and I give him a look, probably just another rude costumer, I mean, nothing I could not use my people skills to solve

“Yes, Jeremy?” I wonder without turning around

“Hm, Mr. DeLonge is here,” The waiter pronounces the name with a French accent and I stop at my feet. I close my eyes and shake my head unbelievingly, rolling my eyes as soon as I open them again

“Should I tell him to leave?” Jeremy asks but I shake my head

“No, I… He’s probably here for a review, I’ll deal with it” I dismiss the guy and he nods before walking away. I move back to my stand; I look through the computer to check in the girls at the table they had been placed on and then I feel someone moving closer to me, I look up and my eyes meet up with Tom’s staring back at me, burning holes into my skin.

“ _Hello_ , Mark” Tom says casually, leaning an elbow on the rim of the table

“Good evening, Thomas, how can I help you?” I ask uninterested as I look back to the computer screen

“That lack of enthusiasm is not how you should attend people in my restaurant, Mark” Tom points out and I look up at him, frowning. Rage boils inside of me

“Your restaurant?” I ask abashed “You own 4% of it and you haven’t done anything for it in ages!”

“I want a table,” Tom says quickly and I sigh, looking back down at my screen

“I’ll have a place for you in ten minutes”

“I want to be seated now”

“No”

Tom huffs and fixes his tie around his neck “Mark,” He starts to whisper “You seat me now or I’m going to show very intimate pictures of you around this waiting hall and you wouldn’t be so pleased about it” Tom threatens me in a playful tone

“I know you wouldn’t do it” I tell him unimpressed but Tom still pulls out his phone, showing a picture of me in which I was completely naked, a broom with a horse head between my legs as I attempted to make a sexy face while I was clearly completely wasted. That was taken seven years ago, but it was very clear that it was me. 

I can only gasp loudly

_“I hate you so much!”_

“I’m glad to hear” Tom smiles pleased with himself and shoves his phone back into his pocket. I huff out angrily for him and I click on something on the computer, the sooner I sit him, the less I have to deal with him.

“Are you by yourself?”

“Why? You want to make me company?” Tom smirks at me, but I do not even think of a grin as I pick up a menu and start walking over to the table I had separated for him “Can you send Angela over? I want to talk to her about what I should order and with what wine?”

“Angela is busy,” I tell him “She is doing interviews”

“For what?” Tom frowns

“She wants to hire a new cook” I explain “Seems like you’re going to have to figure out what dish and what wine to review without her help this time...”

“Maybe you should help me, don’t you think?”

“Oh come on, Tom, shut up!” I roll my eyes _“Bon appetite”_ I say as I leave the table, I don’t look back but I can feel two waiters move (A habit you pick up after working at the same busy place for over ten years). One of them goes towards Tom and the other one starts following me out of the salon

“Is that Thomas DeLonge?” He asks enthusiastically as he follows me, I can only scoff

“You say it like he’s huge or something…” I say as I roll my eyes, but I keep on walking

“Well, I used to work at this one restaurant in West Hollywood and one day he showed up there so we had to stop everything to please him, it was kind of a big deal. He is the biggest food and wine sommelier in the West Coast!” The guy shrieks, I recognize him as the new kid, which explains a lot. 

“You obviously don’t know who he is then” I tell him, but I guess he is not smart enough to pick up a hint

“You almost threw the menu at him; you probably shouldn’t have done that…” He suddenly shakes his head very concerned and I stop on my tracks, turning around for the boy.

“Look, first of all, Tom is a freaking jerk, okay?” I ask and the waiter looks at me taken aback “ _He is!_ Second, he is a partial owner of the restaurant, I mean, it is a little that he owns, but still, it is enough for him to not badmouth the place. Third, you do not get to tell me how to do my job. And fourth and most important, he is my fucking ex, so I am gonna track down everyone who has ever eaten your heart out with a lobster fork and some Californian wine and I’m going to invite them over and make them sit at the biggest fucking table of the house and I’m going to have you serve them all night long and make you smile and prance for them while they bribe you with dirty comical picture you oh so regret taking. How would you feel about that?” I look down at the waiter, fully knowing I was hissing out words and spitting them at his face. The boy stares up at me in shock, blinking his eyes confused.

“I… I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t meaning to ha-”

 _“Leave!”_ I order him quickly as I point to the side, still staring deep into the boy’s eyes, who nodded frantically and left back to his work

I can only sigh after he’s gone.


	3. Another One Bites The Crust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank the beautiful [Xanister](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Xanister) on helping me Beta this, thank you so much sweetheart <3

Travis picked me up at home early that morning. He was planning to spend the entire day at the restaurant – which was unusual, so he called me the night before asking me if I wanted a ride and, of course, I said yes.

Today is the day we’re deciding the new Sous-chef before work, so I’m feeling kind of nervous. I know no one will ever be as good Angela, and that concerns me a lot. 

“Okay, so Angela asked me to fill you in about everyone,” Travis starts as he drives off. I look over at him uninterested, fixing my hair atop my head. “There is Marina, she is from Chile and she has worked as a Sous-chef at a really good restaurant in San Diego for seven years.”

“Got it,” I tell him as I pop-up some gum into my mouth, chewing on it nervously. After all, this really was a big day for everyone.

“There is Matthew, he is the guy Susan was talking about, so you know about that and there is also Bindy…”

“Bindy?” I ask with a frown, “What kind of name is that?”

“Ask her mom, not me.” Travis laughs, “She was a Sous-chef here in the city for five years and a Chef for three more.”

“Where?” I ask.

“At Olive Garden?” Travis says, a bit uncertain. “I don’t remember, but it was some chain like that, Outback maybe?”

“God!” I groan as I throw my head back.

It does not take long for us to arrive. Angela, Rebecca and the other cooks are all set already. I take off my messenger bag and put it in our meeting room, coming back to see Rebecca and one of the cooks chatting happily.

What I see makes me stop halfway inside the kitchen. I’m surprised to notice that this dude looks nothing like I expected him to. I was hoping that a short, hunchbacked man with glasses would come over, but I stop when I see a tall guy full of tattoos and bleached blond hair. He also has black-rimmed glasses decorating his blue eyes.

I look around a bit confused. Rebecca is smiling at him sweetly, while one of the girls is on her phone and the other is standing awkwardly near one of the tables.

“Mark! Come here!” Rebecca starts to gesture for me to come over; I look around to make sure she is talking to me and I step closer nervously.

“Hey, Rebs, what’s up?”

“Mark, this is Matt, he and I did the same grad course when I was in France, he is one of the people we’re interviewing today. He came all the way from Chicago just for that!”

“Hey!” I smile as I extend my hand to shake his.

“Hey, Mr. Hoppus, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Matt says eagerly and I frown a little.

“Okay…” I answer, a bit sceptical “Wh-”

“Alright, let’s get started!” Angela smiles as she and Travis walk back into the room; I turn around and see them walking closer. Both of them stand behind the middle table of the kitchen and stop there. Rebecca and I move to stand by them while the three cooks stand on the opposite side.

Matt looks over in my direction; I notice his stare and my eyes meet his blue ones. He looks away and I squint my eyes at him when he turns them back to Angela. I sigh, I mean, this dude is just too beautiful and too punk to be straight, and with the bleached hair on top of it all... Though he is most likely bisexual, at least I know I would want to bang him.

God, please do not let him be the chosen one.

“Let’s start off with the menu. I want to see your abilities on how to make one. We’ll ask you to create and cook the entrée, the main dish and the dessert. We will be able to see how you are able to solve challenges and if you are able to actually cook,” Angela explains laughing at the end and both women chuckle. The guy only looks my way again, I look back at him and I can see he is holding back from smiling.

Do I have something on my face? I reach up a hand and touch my chin, trying to find anything on my skin.

Angela tells them to start and the three of them grab the notepads and the pens she hands them. Travis comes over to me when everyone starts moving, placing himself by his friend’s side.

“So,” The tattooed man starts, “What do you think so far?”

“Nothing much, really” I breathe out. “We’ll have to wait and see how this turns out.”

“We sure will.” Travis sighs as well.

***

I inhale my cigarette the way I always did throughout my entire life. Travis has grown accustomed to it over the years and now he will even join me whenever he just needs the company or when I am nervous.

But mostly when I am nervous.

“I heard that Tom was here last night,” Travis starts, “how was he?”

I shrug. “A bother as usual.”

“You’re still angry at him, huh?”

“Of course,” I scoff “not going to be okay with it anytime soon.”

Travis sighs, looking around “You know that holding a grudge only makes it worse for you, right?”

I roll my eyes. “Travis. I sa-”    

“Hey, there you two are.” Angela smiles as she opens the door, looking at us. “The dishes are ready, come in.”

I sigh, and crush the cigarette end with my foot before I follow Travis inside. We walk towards the kitchen and the dishes were already laid out on the tables.

“Alright boys, what we want from you now is to try all of these and, without knowing who cooked it, rank them.”

“Sounds good,” Travis says and I nod, agreeing with him. The cooks were nowhere to be seen right now. I frown to myself as I see Travis taking a bite out of something that looks like chicken nuggets.

“These are nice” Travis points at them and gives one to Mark, who takes it without question.

“Yeah! They’re good, I like these!” I say as I chew more on them, then I notice a very weird piece of bread with some cream by its side. “What is this?” I ask Angela.

“Mark, please just eat it” Angela laughs and I shrug, going for a piece and smearing some of the cream on top. I take a bite without any questions and frown at Angela.

“What is wrong?” She asks when she notices that I am making a face.

“I… This tastes like… Like a rabbit ate a lot of cucumbers and peed on a piece of bread”

“What?” Angela laughs and takes the bread away from me, taking a bite herself. She frowns, looks down and shakes her head. “This is zucchini bread with white cheese cream.”

“Well, it tastes bad.” I roll my eyes.

“Let me see that,” Travis comes from behind Angela and takes it away from her, taking a bite as well. “God! This is amazing! And it’s vegan on top of it all!”

“It’s really good, isn’t it?” Rebecca joins in. “I bet it was Matt who did it” she says and Angela slaps her on the arm.

“What?”

“We’re not supposed to discuss that!” Angela warns her, pointing in Rebecca’s face. “And you don’t have any dibs just because you went to grad school together…”

“Okaaaay, I’ll shut up” Rebecca rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless. “Shall we move to the main course?”

“Yeah, sure.” Travis smiles and signals for Clarisse to bring in the next dish, three small bowls are placed in front of each of us and I frown when I see one with sun-dried tomatoes in it, mixed among some pasta and pesto.

“I see sun-dried tomatoes,” I say simply and look up at Angela.

“Mark” she sighs, “Stop being a baby and just eat it, okay?”

“But…” I whine, “its sun-dried tomatoes! Everyone knows I hate these.”

“I can’t believe we’re going through this drama again!” Travis throws his hands up.

“Well, I do!” I exclaim.

“Guys!” Angela intervenes. “Mark, the dish is great, just don’t eat the tomatoes!”

“It really is the best between all these,” Travis points to his own bowl and both Rebecca and Angela nods, agreeing with him.

“Now the dessert!” Clarisse smiles as she comes with the desserts after Angela signals for her to bring them over.

“Is this rice pudding?” Rebecca smiles as she picks one of them up, Travis does the same and smells into the bowl.

“With a dash of coconut!” He smiles, looking over to Angela and nodding approvingly, “I love how every single one of the courses has had at least one vegan dish.”

“I know right!” Angela says and Rebecca smiles to herself, looking over at me.

“I like the rice pudding” I say, “the brownie with the handmade whipped cream is good, too.”

“Yeah, but the pudding was just the top notch, I mean, it’s insanely different from everything else! And better tasting too!”

“I agree,” I say nodding at Travis. “Have you tried the chocolate cake though? It’s sort of wet and so good! It just melts in your mouth.”

“Mark, they basically put whipped cream on it and put it on the freezer for a while, it’s nothing new.” Travis shrugs, “Susan does that all the time at home.”

“It’s still my favourite.” I shrug, taking another bite from it.

“So” Angela starts again as Clarisse comes over to take the remaining dishes away and bring them some water. “Let’s decide what we’re go down to. Travis, you first.”

Travis takes a sip from his water and sighs before thinking about it for a few seconds. “I really liked the zucchini bread for the entrée, the sun-dried tomato pesto for main course and the coconut rice pudding for dessert. I think those were all amazing dishes, and vegan on top of it all”

“I agree.” Rebecca nods as well. “Those are my favorites too, though I would trade the bread for the sausage.”

“Well, for me it is the zucchini bread, the lamb rice and the pudding” Angela says. “What about you, Mark?”

“Me?” I ask pointing at my own chest and Angela nods “Hm, I like the sausage, the lamb and cake.”

“Awesome,” Angela smiles as she writes it down on her pad. “Rebecca, can you come with me? We’ll see whose dish is whose.”

“Great” Rebecca smiles and both girls excuse themselves from the table, leaving Trav and I looking at each other awkwardly.

“Well, I think I’m going home” I say as I get up, tightening the hoodie around myself.

“Already?” Travis asks raising an eyebrow questioningly at me.

“Yeah, I already did my votes and you know it’s the girl’s decision at the end of the day anyway.” Travis shrugs, knowing deep down that I was right. “I really need to take a shower and change clothes, I will come in early tonight, I promise”

“Okay” Travis smiles and I nod before turning away and leaving the restaurant.

***

I sigh into my pillow, groaning because my alarm was going off and really, what was the whole point of it? What was the actual point of setting a time to get out of bed?

Oh, commitment and adult life.

I guess.

I quickly set it to sleep mode and groan before slumping back into a dreamless sleep. It doesn’t take much for me to wake up again with another buzz, again and again and again.

Until one time just seems like too many. I bolt from the bed, grabbing the phone in my shaking hand. _“What do you want from meee!?”_ I ask in a whine and look at the screen, which reads 6:43pm. _“FUCK!”_ I yell as I throw the phone back onto the bed and rush towards the closet, taking my suit out. “Shit, shit, I’m late!”

I get myself dressed and rush out of the house, taking an Uber to work because I clearly don’t need to stress over parking the car at this hour, and don’t even talk about driving. I mean, I want to get there in one piece.

I rush through the back entrance and walk further inside to the kitchen. “Hey?” I ask as I look around, frowning when I see all the food cooking, but no real action. Just Brett and Kathy doing something in the back and talking to each other quietly.

“Hey Mark.” Brett smiles when he sees me, “What’s up?”

“Where is everyone?” I ask confused “It’s almost eight! The kitchen should be busy right now!”

“Mark, it’sTuesday, you know it is a slow day…” Kathy chuckles.

“Oh, I knew that.” I shrug, trying to ignore the fact I was completely oblivious. And tired as well. 

“The new cook has already been picked, you know?” Brett explains. “They’re talking to him in the staff lounge.”

“Great, I’m gonna go there” I say as I leave the kitchen. 

I turn away and walk into the break room, surprisingly enough finding Travis, Rebecca and Angela, all smiling and happy, content with themselves. And a man is sitting with his back facing to me. Something worries me when I see the bleached blond hair.  _“Shit,”_ I whisper to myself. 

“Hey!” The cook turns around and smiles up at me. “There you are!”

“Hey,” I repeat awkwardly as he stared at me with his ocean blue eyes “You… You’re the new chef?”

“Yeah” Matt smiles. “I got hand-picked I guess.” He laughs. 

I look up, noticing that Travis, Angela and Rebecca were all staring curiously at us with focused looks and smug smiles. I quickly turn serious.

“I should probably get to work.” Matt gets up, “more people should be arriving soon”

“Yeah, I’ll show you around, come on.” Rebecca gets up and walks Matt outside, closing the door behind them.

“So…” I start as I put my hands inside my suit’s pockets “He’s the new guy, huh?”

“He is!” Angela smiles proudly and I sit where Matt was before. “He made the Zucchini bread, the pasta and the pudding, and honestly, you know how much we all loved all those dishes.”

I frown, noticing something was quite off. “I didn’t like any of those”

“You didn’t because you’re an idiot.” Travis remarks and he notices the glance I give him. He gives another one right back.

“Well,” I frown again “What if it doesn’t work out?”

“I highly doubt that.” Angela laughs. “He and Rebecca go along and way back, he has an exceptional résumé and he’s a killer cook. The others were way below him.”

“But, what if?”

“Then we’ll call one of the girls, is that what you want to hear?” Angela asks, now growing a bit mad. 

“Maybe,” I answer, growing tense as well. “He was not my first choice."

“But he is everyone elses!” Angela laughs. 

“This is final, Mark.” Travis points out quietly. 

 _"Great!"_ I hiss through gritted teeth.


	4. Don't Taco About It

I stand at my host station at the entrance of the restaurant, assisting guests as they walk in, directing them to tables and helping them out as they may need. I talk to a couple of waiters and waitresses along the way, not needing any contact with the kitchen. 

This new guy should be a breeze. I mean, it’s okay that he probably wouldn’t be my first choice, and that he somewhat makes me nervous to be around, but I guess it’s okay, it’s not like I’ve been killed by situations like these before.

At least not literally. 

I walk into the kitchen to see the new guy’s shenanigans. At first glance I see him and Kathy working on some pasta as Angela and Rebecca talked to each other quietly in the back, which wasn’t uncommon. I walk closer to the bleach blonde-haired duo and I look over Matt’s shoulder. Suddenly, he slowly starts to turn around towards me, as if to see what I was looking at. 

“I’m sorry, I’m creeping you out.” I chuckle as I step back a little. 

“No, don’t worry,” Matt is quick to answer, “It’s okay, you’re the owner, you can watch.” He explains as he smiles sweetly at me and I nod.

 “So,” I start as I roll on my heels awkwardly, trying to start an attempt to make small talk with this man. "How are you liking it here so far?“

"Very much actually.” He nods as he turns back to his pasta, draining off the water. “Rebecca is a long-time friend, Angela is being very welcoming and so is Travis, you know? You want anything? Are you hungry?” Matt asks worriedly, I smile a little. 

“Actually, some coffee would be good.” I nod, “you want to go grab some?" 

"Oh, don’t worry, I can make that for you.” He smiles back as he puts his pasta into a bowl from the side and handing it to Kathy. Matt reaches up to one of the cabinets, pulling out some coffee beans and some stuff I don’t really recognize. 

“No, hm.” I scratch the back of my head “There’s some in the backroom, you don’t need to make it…" 

"I don’t drink coffee, I’m more of a tea guy.” Matt explains and I make the mental note. I really like tea as well, but I slept the entire afternoon and I’m really craving something to wake me up right now. “But, I can make you some, who knows, maybe you’ll like it.” Matt laughs and I let myself indulge in a nod. 

I quickly go to the backroom and pick up my usual thermos, going back to the kitchen and handing it to him as he was preparing something weird with a fabric on it. I frown, “what is that?” I ask. 

“I’m making coffee,” Matt laughs as if it was obvious. “My old Brazilian roommate taught me this method, don’t worry, you’ll love it." 

"Okay,” I laugh. “That’s Nicholas, please take good care of him." 

Matt looks at the thermos in his hand, he smiles and nods. "Sure thing, boss." 

I move over to the front of the restaurant again, back to the salon. I don’t say anything else, not even thank you. As I keep walking I feel a little guilty for that. One of the waiters eventually brings Nicholas back to me with the best coffee I have ever had inside. 

Throughout the week, I continuously hear guests and clients happy that their fish was a bit better seasoned now, or that their favorite drink had less sugar, but somehow tasted sweeter. I was pretty damn happy about it, no doubt. Until one day, something caught my attention.

“This salmon could be better if…” 

And after that I dozed off it was uncanny. The sentence had just slipped out from the mouth of a young, perky redheaded girl as I stared confused at her.

“I’m sorry.” I laughed “What?”

“I feel like it’s the wine.” Her older date whispered to me, slowly and delicately pushing the glass in my direction across the table. I looked for their bottle and picked it up, looking at the label.

I looked between the label and the salmon, but it was the right wine! Something was definitely wrong.

I smiled sourly at both of them and drank the wine; there was nothing wrong with it, a rich sémillon. It was okay. I called one of the waiters and asked them to bring in another glass; I picked up the dishes and took them back to the kitchen, promising to bring new ones. I dropped them on the table and Rebecca gave me a questioning look.

“Is something wrong?” She asked me with a smile, walking closer.

“Taste this salmon.” I said, handing her the fish and then the glass, “with this wine.”

“Okay…” She said confused and did as I told her, then she frowned and looked at me. “Something is wrong, and it’s with the seasoning, because this is our wine pairing for this dish.”

“Yes, pretty much.” I nod.

“Rebecca, can you come over?” Mikel asks as he stands by the oven. 

“Sure thing, buddy.” Rebs smiles and turns back to me. “Angela still has to come in tonight and Matt is on his break, can you go talk to him?” She asks me. “I need to pay attention here, this is his doing”

I sigh, picking up the dish and the glass again, walking away. “Will do,” I answer a bit grumpy, but I don’t look back. I make my way to the break room, opening the door with my elbow and walk inside finding Matt alone, eating a sandwich straight from a Tupperware container with his bare hands. His mouth is full of vegetables when he sees me. I frown and he quickly chews and swallows.

“Hey,” He cleans his hand into a paper towel. “What’s up?”

I eye him up and down, before placing the salmon in front of him, along with the wine, shoving the tupperware away.

“Try these two,” I tell him.

“I… I can’t.” He shrugs, eyeing me apologetically. 

“You, what?” I ask him confused. 

“I’m a vegetarian.” Matt tells me simply. 

I laugh and pat him on the back. “Come on, I’m seriously, I need to show you something…”

“I am serious, I can’t eat it.”

I frown, looking him dead in the eye. “Wait.” I shake my head. “You’re telling me you work at a high-end LA restaurant… But you don’t eat meat?”

“Yes,” Matt nods simply. “I cook the meat when needed or asked, but honestly I haven’t eaten it in years, the last restaurant I worked at was a vegetarian bar.”

“God! You have to be kidding me!” I whine, giving him a mad look. I notice the disappointment in his eyes when he sees me roughly grabbing the plate and the wine again, before storming out of the room. 

I don’t even look back, I just see Angela putting on her hairnet to go into the kitchen. “Hey Mark!” She smiles happy to see me “What’s up?” 

She frowns when she notices something is wrong. I just show her the dish and the glass, she sighs, taking the fork for a bite and the glass for a sip. She looks at me stunned.

“Wow,” she whispers.

“I know.”

“Was it Matt?” She asks and I nod .

“Did you know he’s a vegetarian?” I ask and she frowns, looking up at me. 

“He what?” She laughs.

“He is a fucking vegetarian!” I tell her a little louder, placing the food on a counter nearby, the glass and the plate clank against the surface. “He’s a vegetarian and he is making changes to the meat dishes! Deliberately!” I say as I gesture with my arms.

“Mark, calm down, that is not a bad thing…” 

“That is why Travis chose him, I know it is!”

“Mark, Trav has nothing to do with it, just…” Angela runs a hand on her forehead, I feel footsteps behind me and I turn around, seeing Matt stand nearby, looking upset because he knew we were talking about him 

“Mark, I a…”

“Mr. Hoppus” I cut him off suddenly. I can feel Angela rolling her eyes behind me, but I ignore her as I run a hand on my suit, trying to show him superiority. It’s my restaurant anyways. 

“Hm, I’m sorry, Mr. Hoppus. I promise a mistake like that will never happen again!” 

His blue eyes are really sincere, but I really cannot let something like this fall onto us again, he sighs deeply, truly sorry. I bulk up in reaction.

“You better watch out,” I say as I get closer to him, he’s taller than I am, but I try to look into his eyes to make sure he is getting my message. “Because, I can’t put up with this again, you hear me?” I ask and he nods quickly. “I don’t want to have to look for another cook as soon as Angela is gone.” I say sternly, maybe trying too hard to be tough. 

“Mark,” Angela calls from behind me, but I don’t turn around “Don’t you think you’re overreacting? It was one salmon dish…”

“This can’t happen again!” I repeat, still looking at him, Matt nods and turns his eyes to his side, avoiding my gaze now.

“Matt, the salmon is really good, just that the adjustments you made didn’t go with the wine, so think about that and study the drinks the next time you decide to add something, okay?” Angela asks and Matt quickly nods. 

“Sure thing, boss. I am really sorry about what happened,” he says. “I… I need to go back to the kitchen, my break ended already.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Angela gestures for him to go back into the kitchen and he apologizes to me before leaving. I sigh as soon as he’s gone. 

“Mark, please go easy on him, he’s just starting…” Angela says with pity in her voice. 

I turn back to her again. “With plus ten years of experience behind him! A Princeton kid!” I mock, gesturing exaggeratedly with my hands trying to make it something bigger than it actually is. Angela crosses her arms across her chest and puts her tongue in her cheek seemingly pissed at me. “He should know this!”

“He’s nervous! Just let him be!” She says and I grit my teeth. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing,” I fake a smile as I head out of the room, going back to the salon. “Nothing,” I whisper again

***

I get to work early the next evening; I don’t really talk to Matt or any other of the kitchen staff during the night, officially avoiding him now. Until Matt and I are forced to stand awkwardly in front of each other when we run into each other in the hallway.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He added quickly, I could see he was nervous.

“It’s okay,” I answered, but I kept on going, not looking back. I could hear him sigh when I was gone. 

I stood by my station again the entire night, watching guests come in and out and helping and seating them as needed. 

“Hey,” I hear someone in front of me and I look up, “What do I have to do to get a free glass of wine around here?”

I smile a big smile. “Pete!” I cheer as I walk over to my friend and his girlfriend “Are you guys having dinner?”

“Yes,” Pete nodded, “We would like some… Privacy?”

“Got ya!” I smile as I grab two menus, walking them over to the tiny set of stairs at the corner of the salon, where we kept the most private tables on the mezzanine. I sit them down and smile at both of them. “We should go out some time”

“Sure thing, buddy.” Pete smiles. 

“I’ll come up soon to see how things are going, okay?” I say and both Pete and his girlfriend nod, I leave the space and go back downstairs to my stand, where Clarisse was waiting for me with Nicholas and a small plate with two cookies.

“What is this?” I asked confused 

“Matt sent it.”

“Oh,” I frowned, I hated when co-workers sucked up to me just because I’m the boss. “Okay, I guess…”

“Thanks, Mr. Hoppus” She said nervously before leaving to go back to her regular work. I didn’t mind the treats at first, even if I hated to admit it; I actually liked the tiny gesture. I smiled to myself as another guest came up and when I had successfully seated them, I picked up one of the cookies, taking a small bite. 

I froze and looked at it, seeing raisins in it and that they were made from oatmeal. I frowned and swallowed the piece bitterly. I wasn’t sure if it was a caring act or a ‘fuck you’ to me. Who the hell likes raisins and oatmeal?

Only a fucking vegetarian, that’s who.

I looked up and saw the few couple of guests waiting for available tables and I checked the map, seeing we were currently full. I left my host station and crossed the salon and into the kitchen, looking for the new guy.

Matt was stirring one of our larger pots; he took the wooden spoon and tasted some of it, humming happily. I quickly brought the cookie up in front of his face and he looked at me.

“Hey!” He smiled, ignoring the cookie “What’s up, boss?”

“Raisins? Really?” I asked, throwing the cookie on the counter. He looked at me astonished. 

“I’m sorry you don’t like my food” He said turning to me, uninterested, as if it didn’t affect him. “What a shame, really.” 

I puffed as I saw him picking up the salt from the counter, pouring some into the pot.

“I’m not here to make judgme-” I started, but I stopped when I saw, in slow motion, the shaker of salt slipping from his hand and into the pot, popping open on the sauce. “Shit!” I whispered as I looked over his shoulder, seeing the white powder being sucked into the mass. 

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” Matt hissed loudly as he put his hands into the sauce, desperately trying to take it out.

“Yeah, that’ll work,” I scoffed over to him and he glanced back mad at me, huffing as he grew red. 

“Hey!” Rebecca came closer, “what happened?”

“Matt dropped all of the salt into the sauce,” I ratted him out. Matt turned to me, quick and sudden, his hands were covered in red sauce up to his elbows, dripping onto his arms, his apron and the floor. He pointed a finger at me “I don’t need you here treating me like I’m nothing!” Matt hissed, “I didn’t accept this job to be treated like a kid!” 

“Matty, come on,” Rebecca placed both hands on his shoulders, pulling him away. “Go get yourself clean and come back, I’ll make another sauce from scratch, okay?”

I blinked. I never thought Matt would snap like this, not at me at least. He is still looking into my eyes with rage when he turns away and leaves the kitchen. I look down and notice my italian shoes are dirty with the orange sauce.

“Well, great.”


	5. ¡Pasta La Vista!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my beautiful beta [Xanister](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Xanister) !! You rock!!

I stand in the porch of Angela’s house with Travis, Sarah, Rebecca and Richard - Rebecca’s husband, as we all helped her load her things into the cab. I know I would cry soon enough, I never wanted her to leave, from now on it’ll be just Travis and I and I’m not really sure I can deal with the work. 

“Hey,” Angela nudges my side; her house is already empty since all of her stuff has already gone to Connecticut. She closes the door one last time and turns to me again. “Don’t be sad, alright?” She tells me and I blink heavily, holding back the tears. “You’ve got this.”

I slowly shake my head and wipe the tears away from my eyes. She just chuckles and hugs me very tightly, one of those hugs you don’t ever want to walk away from. She looks at me, her eyes emotional as well, pats both my shoulders and turns to say goodbye to the other people. 

I swallow a sob when she waves at me as her cab leaves. 

***

From then on, work is a drag. A few days later and it still feels like I completely lack the motivation to run this place by myself, since Travis only comes every now and then. I have to remind myself to talk to him and ask him to come more often, but tonight he is staying here to help at least. 

It’s still in the afternoon, soon enough he and Rebecca will go out to meet our produce guy. He smiles as he stands by my side, patting me comfortably in the back “I know you really liked her, but I guess it’s time we move on… She did, so can we.”

“From here on there’s nothing, Trav...” I sigh. “You know that the two of us don’t have anything new to bring to the table, this place might as well be closing soon.”

“Shh, don’t say that.” Travis stops me, and I look at him with a raised eyebrow. “You would never let that happen, I know it.”

I smile sadly, because it’s true. I give myself heart and soul to this restaurant, and not only would it devastate me to see it close someday, I could never let that happen. 

Trav’s phone starts ringing and seeing that it is his fiancée, he excuses himself to pick it up. I walk around tidying things a little until he comes back. “Hey, change of plans,” he tells me. 

“What’s wrong?” I frown

“Susan got stuck at the flower shop without any money and she needs me there because she says Brad is on vacation and he can’t help her out. Rebecca’s oldest kid cracked his forehead open and she can’t come in today.”

“So?” I cross my arms in front of my chest. 

“We can’t go meet Jack, you need to go with Matt.”

“No!” I whine “Trav!”

“Mark!”

“What did I do to you! You know I’m not really on best terms with him…”

“Mark, we need the stuff today, we need you two to go.”

“Okay,” I whine as I turn around, leaving for the meeting room.

“He’ll be here in half an hour!” Trav shouts and I only roll my eyes as I walk away. 

***

I sit in the passenger seat of Matt’s car, my arms crossed on my chest as I try not to meet eyes with his. He’s listening to Bauhaus on his playlist and humming to the music, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and changing the gear stick every now and then. He’s wearing a short-sleeved gray shirt, showing off the tattoos on his arms. 

Not that I’m staring or anything. 

“Who still drives stick anymore?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“The cars are cheaper and you can control gas usage better.” Matt laughs, trying to play it cool

“I think it’s stupid, it fucks up your knee”

Matt shrugs. “Maybe, that’s a good point”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” He frowns. 

“Don’t  _‘Good Point’_ me, I don’t want your validation to make me stop being mad at you.” Matt doesn’t answer and I grow tense, why isn’t he replying to me? “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

Matt shrugs. “I don’t need to. I’m not looking to give you any validation, I don’t want that from someone like you”

I want to go  _‘Oh!’_ , but that would hurt my pride, so I just ignore what he said and try to pay attention to his driving until we reach our destination. 

Jack was never a man of many words. We have known him for eight years and I don’t think I ever heard him say more than two words in one single sentence. His family is from Switzerland and they were farmers who immigrated to America during the 80′s. Now he’s here to help us poor souls at Mon Giuseppe. 

He hands Matt a stack of cases, one of potatoes, and another one of beets. The chef loads both into the back of his car and closes the trunk. 

“Tattooed man,” Jack tells me and I nod. 

“I know Jack, I can see them,” I answer back as I start taking out the money to pay him.

“Like other guy. Wine guy.” 

I nod, “Yeah, he’s tattooed just like Tom, I know.”

“New boyfriend?” Jack says and I abruptly look up to him. 

_“What?”_

“You know,” Jack continues  _“Kiss, kiss”_. He then smooches his lips at me making kissing sounds. “Like wine guy.”

 _“No!”_ I shout way too loudly, that’s when Matt walks back into the house, rubbing his hands together to take off the dirt. “No, I…” I start and look over to him and our eyes meet. I shake the thoughts away from my head and fold the money, placing it on the table. “Bye Jack,” I tell him as I leave, Matt stays back confused then he follows me. 

“What happened? Why are you in such a hurry?” Matt asks me, but I don’t answer him, I just climb into the passenger seat and close the door behind myself with a bang. He eventually gets in as well and drives off. I stay quiet the entire trip. 

We eventually reach the restaurant; Matt doesn’t have his parking space in our backlot yet so he always has to park on the street. He stops on the other side from the restaurant, walking out and opening his trunk. I pick up the box of beets by myself and start walking away to cross the - now empty road, which will be filled with people trying to get a table in a few hours. 

“SHIT! FUCK!” I hear Matt yell from behind me, then a heavy thud right after, a scattering sound of multiple things falling. 

I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. I turn around, with the giant box still in my hands, seeing Matt kneeled down on the ground, both hands on the asphalt, the plastic box lying upside down by his side as the potatoes were scattered ALL around him. 

I suddenly started laughing hysterically. I was laughing so hard I could feel tears pricking up at the corner of my eyes. I dropped to my knees and put the beets down on the ground as well, trying to catch my breath. 

“You think this is funny?!?” Matt shouts at me growing pissed and I continue to laugh, nodding at him. It was goddamn hilarious. “Can you at least help me?”

My laughing starts to stop, and I stand on my two feet again and walk up to him, leaning down and picking up the potatoes, putting them in the box. “That was some clumsy shit you did there...”

“Oh wow, thanks! I hadn’t noticed.” Matt mocks me and I stop laughing, maybe I acted too hard on him. 

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, a funny tone still to my voice, but he doesn’t answer back, Matt just continues to pick up the potatoes again. I finally reach out to pick the last one, but his hand is faster and our fingers brush midway through. 

I quickly pull my hand back; I feel something on my skin, like a spark. I look up to him, wondering if he felt the same thing, but he’s looking into the box, then around himself to see if there was any left. He didn’t even notice what I did, or what happened. 

Was I really irrelevant like he told me earlier?

“Okay, that’s all,” He tells me as he gets up again

“Let’s get these inside, I guess they’re worthless now.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, still kneeled down on the street as he walks away “I guess so.”

***

Travis is by my side at the host station, watching guests come in and out. “I’m sorry about the potatoes thing,” I tell Travis, looking at him as he stood by my side 

“Mark, it’s not really a problem.” Travis scoffs, “And Matt already told me what happened, it’s alright.”

“I guess.” I look down. “Hey,” I started again, “I’m going to the kitchen real quick, can you cover for me?”

“Sure,” Travis nods and takes up my position as I turn around and leave. I walk past the kitchen’s main doors and I see Matt making a drink with Mikel, playing around with the vodka. I laugh and come closer. 

“What are you guys doing?” I ask.

“I’m teaching Matt how to make the drinks.” Mikel answers as he pours the salt around the rim of a margarita glass. Matt hands me a glass and I take it, sniffing it.

“What is this?” I ask and Matt smiles. 

“Just drink it.”

“Hm, okay,” I say a bit unsure but still take a sip. I frown and I feel my taste buds scream, I can feel my face twitching towards impossible directions. Matt’s eyes grow worried as I quickly spit the drink back into the glass. “GOD!” I yell, “What the fuck is this? Is… Is this vinegar?”

Mikel suddenly turns to Matt “I told you to put that away, didn’t I?” He snapped. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, oh my God!” Matt hurriedly quickly taking the glass away from me as I picked up some tequila from one of the shot glasses to wash away the taste. “I just confused the bottles, I’m so sorry Mr. Hoppus.”

“HOW?” I yelled again, I was fully aware everyone in the kitchen was now looking at us. The action had stopped in the background. “How do you confuse fucking vinegar with fucking vodka?!?”

“I… I-” Matt started stuttering, “I have no idea, I’m so sorry, I’m going to make you some coffee the way you like it and I’ll send Nicolas over, would that be okay?” Matt excuses himself as he moves over grabbing the coffee beans that were by his side, walking towards me and opening the lid. “I got a new batch of Brazilian beans and I have a ne-”

Matt then trips over his feet and the can of ground beans slip from his hands colliding on my chest, pouring onto my suit. 

Paralyzed I look at myself, staring at my clothes and the floor covered in black powder. Matt quickly gasps and puts his hands on me, trying to clean it away. 

“Oh my God, Mr. Hoppus,” My eyes widen as he touches both my pecs. “I am so sorry I didn’t mean to!”

“STOP TOUCHING ME!” I yell from shock, shoving him away from me. He gasps and stays quiet; we both look at each other, both of us seeing the confusion happening. “I… Call Trav.” I say as I storm out of the kitchen, locking myself in the office we keep for meetings, then going into the bathroom and taking my clothes off. 

I look at myself in the mirror, as I stand in just my boxers with parts of my neck still dirty. I grab a towel and wet it in the sink, cleaning myself until I hear a knock on the door. 

“Come in!” I shout as Travis opens the door, quickly laughing at my face. “Please stop laughing at my misery”

“What happened?” He asked as he ignored my request. 

“The new guy poured coffee on me,” I say uninterested. “Can you pick up my spare clothes?”

“Sure,” Travis says as he walks back into the meeting room. We always kept a spare pair of pants, underwear and a shirt, in case accidents like these happened. Angela used to keep a dress. Travis gives me my clothes and I put them on, an old pair of jeans and a shirt that barely fits me anymore, Travis laughs again. 

“Still not funny,” I say a little bit mad. 

“I don’t think you have fit in that shirt for at least four years.” He scoffs as the fabric is glued to my pecs and my tummy. I look down at myself, noticing I really am out of shape. I sigh sadly and pick up my bag.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, you think you can cover for me for the rest of the night? I can’t seat people while dressed like this,” I say as I point to myself, showing him my state.

“Yeah, I’ll be you for a night.” Travis smiles. 

“Thanks,” I sigh as I leave, running into Matt on the hallway. He stops frozen and so do I, we look at each other awkwardly and for some reason I wait, though I’m not sure what I even want to hear from him. 

“I…” He starts “That shirt is too small on you.”

 _“Fuck you,”_ I hiss as I move over to the end of the hallway, pulling out my car keys.


	6. Blurred Limes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't get over all these titles!!!

I walk around the restaurant, making sure everything is in order and ready to open. 

Candles: lit.

Napkins: folded.

Silverware: placed.

Today has to go perfect, today has to go perfect.

Glasses: crystal clear.

Dishes: rea…

“FUCK!”

A heavy thud and a scream comes from the kitchen as soon as I finish making my to do list in my head. I blink twice, trying to even remotely think of what was going on. I sigh and look down; I shake my head and fix the bowtie around my neck before starting to walk towards the kitchen. I open the huge door that leads into it and I breathe deeply once I am inside.

The first thing I see is a man sitting down on the floor, I cannot see his face and hair, which are covered in tomato sauce.

“Hey,” the man smiles up at me, which is when I notice he has an entire cabbage on his hand, which is also covered in sauce.

I sigh worriedly once again. “Is that the cabbage I had to ask to be grown in a greenhouse, Skiba?” I ask, bordering on outrage.

The man raises it towards me, as if offering some, trying to play it cool. “You want a cabbage, boss?”

“ANGELA!” I scream and turn away, stomping out of the kitchen furiously. “ANGELA!”

“Hey!” Rebecca calls me as she walks in with her bag in her hands, just arriving to work. She grabs me by the arms, seeing my hitched breathing, “Hey come on! Cool down, boss. You know Angela is not here…”

She grips my arm and I breathe in and out, trying to compose myself again.

“Did Matt do something?” She whispers and I nod 

“Was he always this clumsy?” I wonder, voice loud and angry. She quickly shakes her head. 

“He is the most focused person I know!” Rebecca sighs. “Something must be making him nervous…”

“You better fix this!” I tell her and go into the meeting room. 

It takes five seconds for me to hear her yell out loud, “OH MY GOD!” from the kitchen

***

I am standing at my host stand when I feel someone come closer to me. It shouldn’t be different than every other night when hundreds of people do exactly that, but I feel it. 

I feel the vibe. 

“Well, hello there, Hoppus”

I look up, my face serious as I have to see Tom in front of me again. The only comforting thing about seeing him, is knowing he won’t be around again for at least another month, and I can damn well live with that.

“What do you want, DeLonge?” I say as I look down to my seating chart again, trying to ignore him even if I can’t due to obvious reasons. 

“A table as per usual,” He adds casually and I nod for him to follow me. I sit him down at one of the outskirts of the dining room, in a darker spot. I pull out his chair and light up his candles, that’s when I notice him shoving one of the chairs closer to me. I look up at him with a serious face and he smirks as he pats the place on the chair. I am not amused at all. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask annoyed, placing a hand on my hip.

“I think we need to talk,” He leans both elbows on the table, fixating his brown eyes on mine. 

“No we don’t,” I shake my head. 

“So…” He starts again, ignoring my refusal “Angela is gone?”

I sigh before nodding. “Yes.”

“Can you call Rebecca over?” Tom wonders, “and perhaps you can join us as well.”

“She’ll be here in a sec,” I say quickly and leave, putting the menus on the table, but not caring about handing them to him. I go inside the kitchen and look for Rebecca seeing her work on some pasta. “Rebs?”

“Hey Mark, what’s up?” She asks cheerfully, like always. 

“Tom is here and he wants to talk to you.”

“Hm, I’m kind of busy right now,” she explains to me. “I really can’t leave the kitchen, I’m still getting used to this whole head-chef thing.”

“Rebecca, he is going to fucking eat my head off,” I hiss at her. “You know that!”

“Well, take Matt then.” Rebecca points her head over to where Matt was tasting something, laughing to himself stupidly. I look at him and shake my head. 

“You know I can’t. Tom is going to skin the three of us alive.”

“Mark, stop overreacting, okay?” Rebecca rolls her eyes “Tom is not that bad, you’re both just bitches to each other because of everything that happened between you two… He’s a sweetheart to Angela and I. Maybe he likes Matt too, you can never know…”

I look over to Matt and picture him with Tom. My immediate instinct is to puke; Rebecca sees the face I make. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, ew.” She shakes her head and puts the pasta in a bowl. “Take him, everything’s going to be fine” And with that she leaves. 

I look to Matt again and sigh tiredly, I am so not ready for this, but he looks up as I get closer. “Hey,” I call his attention as I stop in front of him, placing both hands in the pockets of my dress pants. 

Matt sighs as well; he knows I am super annoyed by him at this point “What do you need?”

“I… I have a complicated guest outside and he wants to talk to someone from the kitchen,” I explain.

“Complicated, how?” Matt wonders, drying his hands on a towel as he frowns at me. 

“He… He is a co-founder,” I tell Matt and his eyes widen. 

“Oh, I see.” He nods. 

“And my ex-boyfriend.”

“Hm, okay.” Matt shrugs “Yeah, I can go talk to him.”

“Great!” I smile and gesture for him to follow me outside. We both step out of the kitchen side-by-side and I direct our way over to Tom’s table. Tom looks up as soon as we get there; he simply takes one look at Matt and looks at me again. 

“Rebecca changed a lot since I saw her last time.”

“Tom, this is Matt,” I explain as I motion for Matt to sit down, “he’s the new sous-chef.”

“Hmm,” Tom hums contently as he takes one good look at the guy’s face; Matt looks at me worriedly. “Nice to meet you, Matthew.”

“Nice to meet you too, Thomas.” Both Matt and Tom smile as they shake hands.

“So, I’ll let you two be, I have to go back to work,” I say and Tom waves at me, making shooing movements with his hand, signalling me to just go. I turn around and go back to my original position. After a few minutes, I feel Travis coming up from behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“Hey dude.” He smiled at me. “What’s up?”

I simply look at him, and then I turn my head towards the table where Tom and Matt sit and chat, pointing at it with my chin. Tom is laughing and throwing his head back with his wine glass in his hands. I grit my teeth.

“Looks like someone is worried…”

“I’m not worried!” I object. “You know that Tom hates me and that Matt knows I’m not exactly fond of him or his work. I don’t like that duo! I don’t even like the idea of that duo…” I say and cross my arms defiantly across my chest. 

“Tom would never bust you out like this.” Travis shakes his head “He will to your face, but not behind your back…” 

I sigh and look to the table again. Tom sips the wine and Matt smiles and gestures about something to him. I sigh and try to just let it be. 

***

I am locking the meeting room when it’s time to close the restaurant. I go around the dining room and check the tables to see if everything is in order to open again in the morning, and do it all again. Try to keep this going, night after night. 

I walk back to where I had left my bag and pick it up, that is when I see Matt walking out of the dressing room, recently showered. I look at him and I frown. “You really want to be locked inside some of these days, don’t you?”

He shakes his head and looks down, “Nobody can ever know about it.”

I chuckle, but I keep it inside, I can’t let him see me laughing at one of his jokes, I can’t give him that satisfaction. “Come on,” I gesture him to follow me as I head outside. “Let’s leave.”

I pick up my phone as soon as I close the door, ignoring him as I see him walking to his car from the corner of my eye, until he stops. “Hey!” He calls me from afar and I look up, “what are you doing?”

“I took an Uber here today,” I say as I gesture my phone at him, “I’m calling one to go back.”

“Well, do you want a ride?” Matt asks shyly and I look down at my phone. It says it’ll take seven minutes for my driver to arrive, and I know it’s going to be longer than that anyway. I sigh and throw caution to the wind. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I pocket my phone on the pants of my suit and follow him, in his striped pants and white shirt, he waits for me to catch up to him before resuming his walk to the car. 

We don’t exactly talk, he just asks me to put my address on his phone and set the directions. We fly down the highway and something grows in me, an urge to ask him if he and Tom talked anything about me, and then I would cross my fingers in hope he would say, ‘No, we didn’t even mention you’. Even if I was dying to know what they would really say about me to each other. 

We fall into silence, but my thoughts are speaking louder than his voice when he speaks. 

“Can I ask you something?”

I look at him, frowning at the change. “Sure,” I shrug.

“Do you like ice cream? I’m kind of craving some right now.”

I frown again. “Oh,” I say in realization. “Actually, yeah, some ice cream would be good right now, I guess.”

“Good, do you mind if we go to McDonalds?”

“No, not at all.” I shake my head. 

“Great!” He smiles and drives onto an exit on the highway. It’s not far until we find a McDonalds and park in a dark part of the parking lot. If he wasn’t so scared of me I would be worried that he was planning to kill me. He goes inside and I stay in the passenger seat, until he comes back with both our McFlurries. 

I take mine and start eating it happily, not really thinking about how many calories it has or how many hours I need to be at the gym to compensate for this. I deserve to have this cup of pure sugar right now. 

I feel the sweet pumping through my veins; so I turn to the side and look at Matt. “Did you and Tom talk about me?”

Matt looks at me confused and then frowns, he stops eating his ice cream for a second, and then he spoons some past his lips. “That was pretty forward,” he answers with his mouth full. 

“Yeah, I actually need to know.”

“He didn’t talk shit if that’s what you’re worried about…”

“How do you even know if that’s what I’m concerned with?” I ask challenging him.

“Well, you don’t exactly seem to be his biggest fan,” Matt replies, “I know the two of you have some sort of beef”

I look at him. “What beef? How do you know about that?”

Matt looks at me confused, savouring the ice cream in his mouth. “Well, it’s pretty clear,” he shrugs, “nobody told me anything, people are scared of you, they don’t want to gossip.”

“What?” I laugh. “What do you mean, people are scared of me?”

Matt shrugs. “I guess it’s pretty obvious… I mean, everyone thinks you’re a mean boss.”

“That’s not true!” I object.

“You think that’s not true because you’re considering Travis, Angela and Rebecca, who are also superiors… But the others? They don’t really dare to share about you… I mean, they told me about Travis’s cars, about Angela’s ex-husband… Not even Rebecca or Susan, both of whom are my friends, talk about you…”

“Wow.” I sigh, looking down at my ice cream. “I didn’t think people saw me like that…”

Matt breathes in. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I say quickly and I can see him smiling sadly at my side. “Well, do you want to?”

“Want to what?” He asks. 

“To know what happened?”

“Well,” he shrugs, “If you want to tell me…”

I sigh, I really can’t believe I’m sharing this with him, out of all people, out of all of my subordinates… I nod my head and dive in. 

“Travis was the one who introduced Tom and I,” I start, “they were partners at a wine cellar upstate, him being a wine specialist and Travis being an investor and everything… It was hinted that Travis wanted to expand business and Angela really wanted to open up her own restaurant, so I went after him as a matchmaker for the two…” 

“So you know Angela from way before, right?” Matt wonders and I nod. 

“We were roommates when she moved back after college,” I tell him, looking down at my ice cream. “Angela and Travis started negotiations and eventually I came in as well, as a manager of course, I had some experience from working at the mall and a couple of promotions and stuff… Tom came in as the wine guy and we opened up our thing. Each of us had 25% of it at the time.”

“Tom and I fell in love little by little” I continue, and I can feel myself starting to smile when I remember those times. “I loved him like crazy, and not a day goes by that I doubt how much he loved me back, you know?” I sigh and look up to him, his blue eyes meeting with mine, being compassionate to my sob story. “He was everything to me” 

“What happened?” Matt wonders. 

“He… He had to undergo a surgery on his back.” I sigh and force my eyes to focus on the steering wheel, Matt’s eyes just draw me out too much and distract me from the story. “He eventually got addicted to the painkillers and he used to mix it with alcohol and shit.” I sigh, it’s tough to remember that time. “I helped him through rehab, I… I took care of him like a baby, I used to cry myself to sleep every night, and I knew it wasn’t any better on his side.”

“Wow,” Matt breathes out. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

I look at Matt again, his eyes sincere, but not pitiful. It almost disgusts me, I mean… It should, but it doesn’t… I feel something warm in my heart, I feel compassion. 

“About a month after he was clean, he broke up with me.” I sigh. “We… We decided to remain partners at the restaurant, but honestly, it didn’t work, we just fought all the time and had angry sex.” I chuckle and shake my head, looking away “a few months after that, he just disappeared from the restaurant, Travis couldn’t find him anywhere, his apartment was empty… One morning I just received a call from his lawyer saying Tom was moving away and changing numbers, he wanted to give us parts of his share…”

Matt’s eyes widen. “He what?” He asked confused, “he left just like that?”

I nod. “Yeah, all of a sudden, not even goodbye, you know… Now Angela, Travis and I each own 32% of the restaurant, Tom still owns 4%…” I explain to him and our looks cross again, I sigh deeply, not losing the contact between us. “He moved back about two years ago and has been coming in and out of our daily lives every so often, we basically had a huge argument in the kitchen last year, it was a mess…”

I then look down back to my ice cream, which is now melted. 

“Do…” Matt does the same, though his is almost gone. “Do you still like him?”

I scoff “God, please no.” I shake my head and then laugh “We hooked up one time a few weeks after he was back, no thank you.”

Matt chuckles as well. This is when I should snap at him for laughing at my misery, but I don’t, instead I just look at him and laugh as well. His smile is warm and sweet, the corner of his lips childishly dirty with ice cream. 

Our laughter eventually dies and we both settle on smiling at each other. “Thanks for bringing me here, this was fun” I say, still smiling. 

“You’re welcome,” Matt answers back. “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

“Sure,” I shrug. “What about you? Do you have a sob story?”

Matt just chuckles. “I do” he nods, “I… I actually am just recently recovered from alcoholism…”

My head snaps to look at him. I had said that as a joke, I wasn’t expecting anything from it, “you are what?”

Something settles in my chest. I would have never guessed it. 

“Yeah… Hm, it was a messy time in my life… I actually lost my job over it, I lied about it in my interview, the bar is still up and running without me…” Matt explains, “It’s been a year since I’ve been clean and doing little bits and jobs here and there, rehab actually took years out of me… I… At least now I know I am a better person from my mistakes…”

“Wait, so you… You were living with your parents because you got fired and not because you didn’t want to waste money?” I ask with a frown and Matt shyly nods. 

“It’s pathetic, I know” He sighs, not looking at me. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I…” I shake my head, “I won’t. I… I’m sorry for asking you like that, I had no idea…”

Matt smiles shyly. “It’s okay. I guess it’s important you know something about me too, to break the hard shell…”

I sigh, I know he’s talking about me seeing him as a human person, and maybe I won’t treat him like shit anymore. I look down guiltily to my hands, “Yeah, I guess…”

“I think we should go, let me go throw out your… soup?” He gestures for my McFlurry and I hand it to him. Matt steps out of the car and comes back with his hands clean. We don’t really share anything on the ride back; I just make sure he knows where my house is once we get to my street. “Here you are.” He smiles as he pulls to the curb. 

“This was fun, I guess.” I smile as well, “thanks again.”

“You’re welcome again.” He laughs and we stare awkwardly at each other, I lean my head back on the headrest of his passenger seat, but my eyes don’t unglue from his. 

“Maybe we should do this again… Sometime,” I suggest. 

“Really?” He frowns. 

“What?” 

“I… I didn’t really think you would ever see me as the friendly type.”

I nod and I open the door to step out of the car. “Things can change, doesn’t mean I’ll stop being scary at work though.” I tell him before closing the door and walking away. I don’t even wait for his reaction. 

The last part is a big fat lie though.

He doesn’t drive away until I’m inside the house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> deathcomealive.tumblr.com


	7. Never Bean Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Everyone! Sorry, it's been such a long time! (Over 5 months almost), if you read Chasing Hearts too you probably know by now why I left for such a long time, to make story short I picked up a full time summer job and basically didn't have much time to write or study or do anything else really. 
> 
> So, please enjoy this chapter, and thanks for keeping on reading!

I am running.

I keep trying to run more and more, but it’s impossible. I look up to check how much time is still left; if I cheat a minute, there is only three to go. 

Eventually, I tire out and give up, switching off the machine and not really caring about the time.  _“Fuck this shit,”_  I hiss to myself as I try to think why I thought coming to the gym on my only day off this week was a good plan. 

I walk back home and take a nice shower under the cool water. I have to admit I haven’t felt this good in ages. I plan on calling Angela, maybe having a glass of wine or something… I needed a nice distraction after deciding to shoot myself in the foot earlier in the afternoon. 

I call her and she immediately picks up.

 _“Thank heavens it’s you, I thought it was one of my students”_  Angela breathes out happily

“When is the exam?” I chuckle as I uncork the wine. 

 _“Ha Ha Ha Very funny”_  Angela answers with a fake laugh,  _“You called right on time, I can’t grade papers anymore, this is hell. I need a distraction.”_

“Do you want to Skype?”

 _“Oh God, please!”_  She hangs up and I quickly walk over to the computer with my glass, sitting down in front of it as she starts the call, showing up full face on the screen.  _“Dear lord, don’t you look as handsome as ever?”_

“I try.” I laugh and shake my head. 

_“You look tired though.”_

“What? I don’t look tired, I look awesome!” 

Angela laughs and shakes her head  _“Classic Mark.”_

“Shouldn’t you be giving class today?”

Angela shook her head  _“Only Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays…”_

“I see…”

 _“So… How’s Mon Giuseppe?”_  She wonders as she crosses both her arms on top of the table.

My first reaction is to scratch the back of my head. “It’s okay, just like usual, you know?” I shrug “We miss you.”

 _“How is the new guy doing?”_  Angela asks. _“Rebecca told me he can be quite the anxious type.”_

“A little I guess” I answer as I take a sip from my wine “Maybe he just can’t handle the pressure”

_“Well, she did tell me you’ve been somewhat kind of harsh on him…”_

“Of course, Angie! He’s stupid!”

 _“Mark!”_  Angela snaps  _“What have we talked about calling people stupid?!”_

“That was about clients! You didn’t say anything about employees!”

Angela sighs  _“I just do-”_

That is when my phone beeps. I’m not really interested in discussing this with Angela right now so I decide to take a peek at the screen, seeing that an unfamiliar number had sent me a message. 

Angela is still talking when the message board pops up 

Suddenly I choke my drink 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?” I yell from the top of my lungs when I see the image of a bright pink, glowing hard dick on my screen 

 _“WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?”_  Angela yells back. 

“I… I frown confused “I just got a dick a pic???”

I laugh at the end and she laughs back  _“From whom?”_

“I have no idea!” I laugh again, trying to recognize the number or find anything leading to whose it might be, but there’s no signs anywhere

_“Who do you think it is?”_

“Maybe someone I met at the gym, I don’t know!?” I shrug as I put the phone away. 

 _“You still go to the gym?”_  Angela raises an eyebrow and Mark gives her the finger. _“Is it good at least?”_

I laugh and nod, closing my eyes to emphasize on it, “Oh hell yeah.”

 _“Nice”_  Angela smirks back  _“Well, try to ask!”_  Angela suggests and I sigh, opening up the keyboard

“Okay…”

 _“What is this?”_  I ask and almost immediately the message comes by as seen/read.

 _“Just a ittke sometjign,”_  Is what I get back, _“Uou huink”_

I immediately spit out my drink.

“I think someone is drunk” I laugh as I show her the message, she immediately laughs as well.

 _“That sound funky,”_  She tells me as her laughter eventually dies down.

I frown. “What do you mean?”

 _“Unfamiliar number? No text?”_  Angela explains “ _Sounds like either someone had to scoop up your number or some prostitution line got mixed up, but I guess the latter would come with more expressive catalogue, don’t you think?”_  Angela takes a sip from her water.  _“If someone had to look you up, I’d say they’re drunk out of their minds… And they know you…”_

Suddenly it all clicks together  _“Fuck!”_

 _“What?”_  Angela asks as she brings the cup down from her lips. 

“I know who it is!” I tell her as I get up “I have to go! I’ll explain later…”

 _“Sure I ju-”_  She tries to tell me goodbye but I simply close the laptop on her, grabbing my phone and my keys as I rush out the door, climbing into the driver’s seat of my car. 

After about a half an hour, I see myself standing in front of the house, hoodie thrown over me and messy hair, but I don’t care. I almost hit my car about five times on the way here. I breathe in and out heavily as I knock on the door.

I hear a noise inside, something cackling and then something else falling to the ground. I flinch when the door comes open with one wide swing. 

Matt stands in front of me: messed up eyeliner, ripped jeans, plain black shirt with random holes in it, barefoot, and dishevelled hair. I go speechless for a second; he looks so fucking hot. I mean, he works for me, but if I saw him like this at a party or if he was a fucking stranger, I would be all over him by this point. 

My cock twitches again, it’s been hard since I left my house, but I was able to just ignore before. My eyes go wide and now Matt is frowning at me. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks with a slur and stumbles backwards a little. 

Suddenly I remember why I am here in the first place.

“Okay…” I sigh as I place both hands on his shoulders. “First, let’s get you inside,” I walk in and shove him back into the house again.  I push him in the direction of his couch and he simply lets his body fall down on it, his eyes flickering around. “Stay here and don’t get up alright?” I say, pointing a finger at his face, but he just grunts. 

I go in the kitchen and find a carton of almond milk inside the fridge. I roll my eyes, remembering he’s a vegetarian. I pull it out and fill a cup, then I go back to the living room, seeing him trying to get to his feet. I rush over and force him to sit down again, placing the cup on his hands. 

“What is this?” Matt asks confused, looking inside the glass. 

“Milk,” I answer simply, “It’ll make you feel better…”

“Milk?” Matt asks confused, “I thought you were here for my dick.”

I sigh. “It was a lovely pic, Matt,” I answer in monotone.

“Thanks.” He smiles genuinely and starts drinking the milk. 

“So…” I start again, “why did you send that?” I ask quickly, patting his knee twice as I move to sit on the armchair next to him, but he only shrugs. 

“I honestly have no idea.”

“Alright” I nod. “So… You mind at least telling me what happened? Why did you drink?”

“How did you know I was drunk?” He asks shyly, looking at his now empty glass. 

“Because I’m not stupid and I know you wouldn’t send a dick pic to your boss for no sane reason…” I explain as I cross my arms in front of my chest, looking sternly at him, he can only sigh as he looks up at me for the first time since I arrived. His eyes seem sad and I feel my chest getting heavy. 

“I…” He sighs again and looks down towards his lap again. “I was supposed to go on a date with a guy tonight and I got stood up…”

I freeze. 

First, he’s into dudes?

Second, how could anyone ever ditch him? How can anyone stand him up? Did they even look at him? I mean, I probably would but only because he’s Matt and ew honestly, he likes sun-dried tomatoes and he’s a vegetarian, fuck this shit. 

“You’re gay?” I scoff and he looks at me with a frown. Matt nods. “I didn’t know that…”

“Yup, not news anymore, I guess.” He sighs. “I should’ve known anyway, it was a tinder date…”

“Oh.” 

“I was really looking forward to it, we were really hitting off on the chat… I bet they just looked at me and left…” Matt tells me shyly, his voice tiny and scared. I scoot closer and place a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. 

“Hey,” I laugh. “That’s not true, okay?”

Matt looks up at me again. “How do you know?” 

“I just do…” I nod and he sighs again, making a face. “Are you okay?” I ask worriedly.

“…No?” He replies with his voice full of something before he quickly gets up and runs off to the bathroom adjacent to his living room. Matt doesn’t even turn on the lights before I hear him throwing up in the toilet. 

I run a hand over my face. I shouldn’t be here… I mean I don’t have to be here! This is not my obligation, nor my job. But this guy doesn’t have any friends in town besides Rebecca and I can’t just ignore him. He did tell me he had gone through rehab for alcoholism, even if it had been over a month since he opened up about it… That would only make me more of a bad person than he already thinks I am. 

I get up and close up my hoodie, walking into the bathroom and turning on the light for him. I kneel down by his side, but I make sure to not touch him, I just let him be and do his own thing as he pukes everything out. I try not to make disgusted noises as the smell keeps hitting me right in the face like a damn train wreck. 

After a few minutes of heaving, he reaches out and pulls out some toilet paper, wiping his mouth with it before he sits back and leans his head on the cool tile wall behind him, now he’s facing me. 

“I’m sorry,” He tells me, still heaving a little. 

“It’s okay,” I answer sadly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Matt tells me and closes his eyes, still resting his head on the tiles. 

“Did you really feel bad over this one guy?” 

Matt breathes in and opens his eyes, then he shakes his head. “It’s not the one guy, you know? I just… I just haven’t made that many friends here yet and I just feel lonely, I guess… You know how work is not exactly the best thing ever right now, but it’s better than having to live with my parents.” He shrugs at the end.

I know he’s talking about me; I shamefully look down at my lap. “I’m sorry”

“I’m still amazed you just picked up I was drunk.”

I smile sadly. “Well, after years I sort of learned how to read the signs…”

“Yeah…” Matt replies back with a sad tone as well. “I… I think I should go to bed.”

“Maybe you should,” I tell him with a nod and get up, giving him my hand to help him stand on his feet. I help him walk back to his room and stand awkwardly in the center of it, wondering what should be my next move.

“Well, I should probably go too…” I say as I point behind my back to the door, but Matt grabs me by the arm. 

“Just stay until I take a shower, I need someone to help me if I slip or pass out…  _Please?_ ”

I sigh. “Alright,” I tell him and sit in an armchair near his closet. “I’ll sit here and wait.”

“Thanks, Mark.” Matt smiles before he picks up some clean clothes from his tiny closet and goes into the bathroom, leaving the door unlocked behind him. I just stay on my phone and look at twitter while he’s inside. About twenty minutes later he comes out with damp hair and his makeup mostly cleaned away, a little remains smudged. He has pyjama pants on and an old black hoodie wrapped around him. 

Matt climbs on his bed and pulls the covers over himself. I get up and walk closer. “Are you okay?”

He doesn’t answer me; he just pats the edge of his mattress so I can sit, so I do. Matt just looks at me; he takes a deep breath and crawls a tiny bit to reach my lips, kissing me. He raises one of his hands and puts it carefully on my neck, other than that, he doesn’t move. 

Matt parts his lips just a little, and I can’t help but do the same as he licks my bottom lip. He hums contently and his breath is now so minty, in opposition from the fact he was puking his guts out just half an hour before. My cock twitches and I quickly pull back, noticing how much of a mistake this is. 

But when I look at him, his eyes are sparkling and he’s giving me this tiny smile, and I admit to myself the one thing I had been dying to not let myself realize, that I might just have a tiny, itty bitty, crush on him. 

I am still shocked at myself when he sighs and brings the sheets closer to himself. 

“I’m really tired.” He says in a low voice and I nod as I get up, not really caring about my pants. 

“I know,” I tell him. “So… Goodnight”

“Just close the front door behind you, it locks by itself…” He tells me while looking down at his lap as if he regretted it. I sigh and nod again as I start walking away. 

“Okay,” I say, “bye.”

“Bye,” he says back to me and waves as I close the door. I move my feet slowly, looking back to the door of his room. I stop at the middle of the living room, looking around. 

There are empty beer bottles everywhere; there is a broken vase by the kitchen entrance and a knife in the counter. I step closer to the bottles and start picking them up, as well as the broken pieces of the vase. I move back to the living room and notice how tired I am at this point after cleaning up the mess Drunk Matt has made. 

I pick up the TV controller and set it to the channel I had at home when I was watching Buffy.

I touch my lips with my fingertips, where he had just been. I feel my cock picking up the blood flow and making me feel things in my stomach. At one point I stop watching the show and I look around, this is his living room, I am in his house, on his couch… Matt is just a door away from me and I’m here having sexual thoughts about him like a creep, when he told me to just go home. 

But, I eventually come to the conclusion I can’t. I can’t leave him here like this, I can’t leave him behind when I know he needs a friendly shoulder the most. 

Sometimes I avoid him, sometimes I yell at him just to act up, sometimes I give him looks and when no one is watching, I will apologize about the things I had to do for my stupid pride. 

How could’ve I been so blind?

I breathe in deeply and try to shake my thoughts away. I really cannot be thinking about touching myself in his living room, on his couch… I could get up, I can just… It’s just so close I ca-

I slap myself in the face a few times, trying to get back to reality and I turn back to the TV, trying to think it all away with a pain in my chest.

I eventually fall asleep just like that. 

***

I groan and toss and turn. I hear a crunching noise next to me. 

I slowly open up my eyes from where I’m lying down and see Matt sitting across from me on a chair. I yawn as my eyes focus on his tilted head, as he chews on his cereal, his bowl on his hands and a blanket around his shoulders. 

He looks cute as fuck. 

“What are you even doing?” I ask, still half asleep. 

“Watching you sleep,” Matt answers with his mouth full, a smile to his tone. “I thought you had left after I fell asleep…”

“Yeah, I was just too tired to drive back home,” I lie. 

“Okay,” Matt nods and gets up. “Thanks for cleaning up the living room. Do you want some cereal?”

“Nah, it’s okay,” I say as I start sitting up so I can leave. “I should probably just go home already”

“Are you sure?” Matt asks concerned “You literally just woke up…”

“I am,” I nod certain of my decision. 

“Okay.” Matt answers sadly as I leave out the door, not really even saying goodbye, I’m not sure I have the strength for that…

I decide to not really get myself worked up by Matt as the week unfolds by. I don’t exactly ignore him at work, but the few times we interact, I let him know he’s doing a good job, and he truly seems to appreciate it. 

I don’t bring up the kiss again and neither do I tell anyone about his mental/alcohol breakdown, or about the dick pic or that he’s gay, too. Not that anyone here would turn against him, but I don’t ever want to bring it up myself to voice anything about whatever could involve events of that night.

My own curiosity will wash over me from time to time, as I want to know if he’s aware of what he’s done, and what are his feelings about it. But like all things that worry me, I just shove it to the back of my mind and just hope I’ll forget it eventually. 

Matt is still making a few clumsy mistakes, but only when I’m around, and it’s sort of cute to see him accidentally burning butter or continuing to cut a carrot in a line when it’s been done and he’s only cutting thin air. Then he whines about piercing his finger. 

I try to not show amusement at the time, but when I go back home, I just lie in bed and laugh to myself as I think about those little tiny things. When I’m with other people, I expect them to bring him up so I can talk about those things he does.

One day, a couple of weeks later, he comes up to me, calling me as I open the door to the meeting room with some mail in my hands I just picked up outside. I stop and look down the hallway; he jogs to me and I let him come closer.

“Hey dude, what’s up?” I act casually as he gathers his breathing again. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, what is it?” 

“I… I was wondering if I could have this Tuesday off?”

I frown. “What for, if you don’t mind my asking?” I scoff as I look down and flip through the mail.

“For a date actually.” Matt smiles and puts both hands behind his back; I snap my head up. 

“A date?” I ask, outrage growing inside me.

“Yeah, hm, another guy from tinder, you know?” He smiles as he rolls onto his heels. “This will be our second date, actually.”

“So…” I start, trying to search my words “This one didn’t stand you up?”

“No,” Matt keeps on smiling as he shakes his head. 

“Oh!” I say surprised “Good for you! I thought you had quit the tinder life,” I tell him with an awkward laugh. I hope he doesn’t notice it, so I turn to go back to the room.

“Actually, I never thanked you for that night.” He starts and I stop, turning back to him, meeting his eyes. “So… Thank you for seeing I was feeling bad and coming over when you had no obligation to do so. Thank you for everything you did that night.” He tells me shyly, and I see him growing a bit red. It’s almost cute and I smile. “And thanks for not telling anyone…”

“I think you thanked me enough already even before I got there…” I laugh and he frowns, then he quickly shakes his head. 

“Oh no.” Matt lowers his voice. “That wasn’t… I mean-”

“Matt,” I laugh. “It’s okay, you were drunk… I was just making a joke…”

“Oh, okay”. He nods still a bit insecure. “Thanks for being cool with it…”

“Of course.”

“So… Can I have the day off?” He asks me again, forcing a smile to seem cute. I sigh and gesture into the room with my chin. 

“Come in, I think we should talk about this…”

“Hm, okay.” Matt answers as he comes inside as well. I close the door behind us and gesture for him to sit on Travis’s chair, he does as he’s told and I sit on mine across from him, casually crossing my arms on top of the table.

“Alright.” I start as I run a hand on my face, sorting out my thoughts. “I will give you the day off”

“Really?” He smiles with his big blue eyes widening, I nod.

“Sure, why not?” I shrug. 

“Is that all?” Matt wonders confused. 

“No” I shake my head “I need to tell you something.” I say and he frowns. 

“Well, what is it?”

“I…” I look up to him, he’s patiently waiting for my answer, with his stupid blue eyes I cannot unsee with that gorgeous eyeliner, and his stupid bleach blonde hair that is messy because of his hat, his smile, his raspy voice. I sigh to myself. 

Fuck it. 

“I wanted to tell you that… That I can’t… really, stop thinking about that night…”

The cat’s out of the bag. 

“What do you mean?” Matt frowns. 

“That I can’t stop thinking about the way you dressed and how worried I was about you and how you kissed me!” I say as I raise my voice, making his eyes widen at both my words and my sudden change of tone. “And I keep wondering to myself why the heck did you send me a dick pic? And why would you kiss me? Other than you’re attracted to me!”

Matt opens his mouth a few times to say something, but he doesn’t. I decide to wait for his reaction though. 

“Well, are you?” 

“Am I what?” I frown. 

“Attracted to me?” Matt wonders as he points at his own chest. 

“Well,” I start and I look away, thinking to myself, am I? “I could never,” I tell him proudly, though it’s a blatant lie. Then I let the silence envelop us. 

After about a minute, I feel Matt getting up, but I don’t raise my head, since I just assume he’s going to leave. I hear his footsteps come closer and he stops by my chair, just standing there and looking down at me. 

I turn to my side and look up, meeting his eyes, his face is seemingly serious, but his eyes are focused and he licks his lips, taking in a shaky breath.

“What?” I whisper to him and Matt puts both hands on the armrest of my chair, turning me over swiftly and leaning in as both of our faces get really close to each other, creating insane tension. My breath gets stuck in my throat and I pray to God for him to not do what I think he’s going to as his eyes stare right into mine. 

“Do you,” he starts, “like me?”

“I don’t.”

"Then why did you ask all those things?" Matt whispers, his breath an inch away from me.

“I… I a- Workplace involvement is prohibited.”

"You dated the co-owner."

"That was different."

"How is it different, huh?" Matt's voice sinks in even more and he can definitely hear my heart bursting inside my chest, yeah, he definitely can. “Do  _you_  want to know?” He whispers to me in his raspy voice again.

“If you kiss me-” I tell him sternly, raising a finger and pointing it at his face, as if giving an order. I sit up straighter and somehow, still putting myself closer to him. “You’re in big trouble.”

“Am I?” He laughs and I nod, still looking serious. “You sound like a teenager who's trying to be badass”

"No, I don't!"

"You really do" He shrugs and grabs my neck by both hands before I can do anything, kissing me stormily. I stagger backwards a little on the chair, the back of my head hitting the headrest, but I let him, I let him do this because it’s  _exactly_  what I want right now. 

I don’t do anything further, but I don’t do anything to stop it either. I’m growing tense as his lips work on mine, they’re gentle and I can feel them begging for my attention. I keep my eyes closed, just trying to appreciate something I can’t let myself have, until I give in, and I indulge myself by kissing him back. 

Matt pulls back, and I know I look completely vulnerable to him when my lips chase his in the air. Still staring at my lips, he climbs in on the chair, putting his thighs by my sides and cradling me  _“_ I guess you do like this, huh?” He whispers before leaning in again. 

I let myself get carried away by him as he rolls his hips on top of mine, teasing my hardening cock.  _“Shit.”_ I whisper to myself as I pull away, letting him kiss my neck. “You’re going to regret this so bad,” I tell him. 

Matt’s hand starts swiftly going down my chest, unbuttoning my shirt with just one hand and that’s the hottest thing I’ve had someone do to me in ages. Matt leans in to my ear. “You’re the one with the pride, you are the one who’s going to regret it,” he whispers before he licks the inside of my ear and I let out a small moan, closing my eyes and throwing my head back, this is just too good. Matt’s hand finishes unbuttoning me, then his hand goes up to my lips, silencing my whine halfway. “Now you have to shut the fuck up, okay?” Matt orders me as he looks into my eyes. 

I nod submissively. 

“I’m the one in charge today, alright?” He asks, but I only breathe in deep through my nose. “I asked you something, answer me”

I nod again, not being able to voice anything. 

“Good.” Matt smirks before kissing my neck again. “Good boy,” he adds in-between kisses and I close my eyes, letting myself feel everything in every single fiber of my body. 

Lust, anger, anxiety, excitement…

And of course, Matt’s fucking hard on. 

He moves back to my lips and it’s messy and hot, his mouth is everywhere on me. Matt doesn’t take his mouth away from my own as he gets up, pulling me behind him, and leading me into the bathroom, shoving me back on the door. 

“You are going to fuck me,” Matt orders between kisses. “And then we’ll never talk about this again.”

“Yes, sir.” I tell him and he rips the shirt away from my chest and I do the same with his chef whities, throwing them on the floor. Matt climbs on the bathroom counter, leaning against the mirror. I quickly pull open one of its drawers, pulling out some lube and condoms 

“Why do you have those here?” Matt frowns. 

“Did you want me to keep it near your knives?”

Matt quickly shakes his head. 

“Yeah, didn’t think so” I answer before kissing him again and opening the lube bottle. His legs wrap around my middle, pulling both of us closer together before I start prepping him up. 

Matt bites into my neck when I slide into him, and I moan out loud, despite trying to keep it inside. I haven’t felt this much pleasure in years; someone holding you, giving you those nice feelings and touching you like this, knowing both of you really want this. 

Both of us come at the same time. I lean against him, pulling him closer, but Matt turns around and escapes from my grip. He pulls the condom out of me and I let him, hoping he doesn’t notice my cock twitching when he does so. Matt ties it into a knot and throws it on the garbage can by the toilet. 

He doesn’t look at me as he washes his hands and his face. Matt turns to me and grabs my chin with one of his hands, forcing me to look at him with a smile on his lips. “Don’t ever talk about this again.” He then winks and leaves the room. 

What the fuck just happened?


	8. Candy Sticks & Scones May Break My Rolls

“Sir!”

I snap back to reality. I look around confused at first, and then look at the tiny man standing in front of me, clicking his fingers in front of my eyes, staring at me confused.

“Are you okay, sir?”

“Hm.” I frown to myself and blink a few times “Yeah, sure… What can I help you with today?” I ask with a bright smile, trying to pretend I didn’t just make a fool out of myself. 

“Yes, I’m looking for a table of three, please.”

I nod and get to his request. As soon as he’s sat, I move to the kitchen. Matt looks up from his huge pot and our eyes meet, I give him a weak smile and wave at him, he just chuckles and waves back. I shake my head, what am I even doing? I look down and march towards the hallway, as he gets distracted with his food again. 

I quickly close the door behind me and I lock myself into the meeting room. I rest on the door, closing my eyes and running my hands on my face. 

What am I doing?

I am daydreaming about him at work… What the fuck?

I fucked him at work.

I have never let myself be dragged down like this, not even with Tom… Basically I am always busy with work to even get distracted like this.

Another week goes by. Again, I avoid Matt as much as I can; it’s not always possible. Monday comes and Travis asks me to go to the restaurant pick up a few errands. 

“You know, the tax papers, I need to send them to Chad before the year is over, and the sooner, the better, you know that…”

“Sure, I… I just need to grab my keys. Why don’t you do it anyway?”

“Susan’s birthday,” Travis answered and I could almost see Travis shrugging at the other end.

“Alright.” I roll my eyes and get up. “I’m on my way”

I take out my car and patiently drive all the way to the restaurant. I walk inside and go straight to the kitchen, thinking I should grab something to eat. I take my steps towards the cabinet to see what I could do with my non-cooking skills. 

I take out a bag of dried pasta and turn around, the door to the freezer opens and I jump back startled. Matt peeks his head out and eyes me up and down. “Why are you messing with my food?”

“What?” I whisper 

“Step away from my food, please.” Matt laughs 

“It’s not your food, it’s my food.”

“My food, your restaurant. I’ll give you that,” Matt continues as he steps out of the freezer, holding a box in his hands and then dropping it on one of the counters. “What are you even doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” I challenge him, but Matt shrugs, placing both hands in the pockets of his apron. 

“Just filling in for that day I was off…” 

“Oh.” I nod. “Good, I… I didn’t know you were counting it since, I discharged you.”

“Yeah, I’m not a man to leave my job half done, you know?” He nods as he comes closer to me, taking the pasta out of my hand. “Come on, I’ll cook you dinner.”

“Really?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

“Of course, I need to pay you for giving me the day off somehow.”

I suddenly feel myself already turning red. “Others would say you already did, you know?”

“Yeah,” Matt chuckles as turns on the stove. “But I told you we weren’t ever gonna talk about that again, didn’t I?” He continues without even looking at me. I nervously scratch the back of my head. “What sauce do you want?” 

“Red.” I nod and Matt gives me a playful look. 

“Do you even own a restaurant?”

“Whatever, insert fancy name.” I stick out my tongue as I sit down and he laughs at me, shaking his head. 

We stay silent the entire time he’s cooking. I notice he’s also doing other things that I can’t really understand, but I know that somehow they all have something to do with the restaurant. 

“You can go sit in the salon if you want,” Matt says without looking up from his food. 

“Alright,” I tell him and get up without any questions, dragging my feet towards the salon where I sit down at a random table. Matt dims down the lights once he walks in as well, the food in his hand in two separate plates, as well as two glasses of wine. 

Matt moves closer and hands me my plate and my glass as he sits down across from me as well, immediately digging into his food.

“Hm, I didn’t know you were eating too…” I blurt out as I dig the first forkful into the pasta.

“Well, I’m human, I have to be fed too.” Matt’s eyebrows frown at me. 

We fall silent again and Matt pays attention to his food, making this super awkward. I want to say something, but at the same time I feel like he doesn’t want me to. Then again, would he even sit here when I didn’t even invite him over in the first place? What the fuck does he want from me?

“This is really good,” I note out loud. 

Matt suddenly looks up at me, his bright blue eyes piercing at my skin, completely taking my breath away. 

“Thanks.” He smirks at me quickly and turns back to his food again, leaving me alone to my despair. 

I end up leaving some pasta on my plate, not because I’m not hungry, but it’s something I can’t really explain. 

“Are you still gonna eat?” Matt asks as he gets up, and I shake my head. 

“Not really.”

“Alright.” Matt replies as he takes my plate away. “I’m gonna save it in some tupperware for you, alright? Maybe you can finish it tomorrow if you feel like it…” I nod and he smiles at me before leaving to go back to the kitchen. I get up as well, and head inside where Matt is opening the door to the freezer again. “Hey, can you help me with something?” 

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can you help me while I clean the freezer?” 

“Okay,” I nod and follow him inside; he closes the door behind us to not let the cold air out and clasps both hands together as he asks me to help him move a few boxes around. 

“Alright, I guess that’s it.” Matt nods as soon as he judges the job to the done. “Can you help me carry these outside?” He asks as he points at some steak sitting on one of the shelves, I immediately pick them up as Matt moves to open the door.

“Uh oh.” 

“What?” I lift up my head as I stand behind him. Matt turns to me immediately, the safety doorknob in his hand. “What did you do?” 

“I-” Matt starts and quickly -and desperately- turns around and starts fumbling with the round polished metal sticking out where the knob should be. He tries to open it desperately, uselessly 

“You didn’t do what I think you did!” I shout, throwing the meat back again into the shelves 

“I- I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was about to break! It’s a safety knob! Goddammit!”

I sigh and move to sit down on the floor, turning away from him. I try to not let myself get mad over this. 

“Are…” Matt starts again with a tiny voice, “Are you mad at me?”

I breathe in deeply. I don’t want to make things worse than they already are. 

“I’m trying not to be,” I tell him, without turning around. I lift up my head and pull my phone out from my jacket pocket. “I’m gonna call Travis, he’s not gonna be happy about this…”

I can feel Matt growing tense behind me. “I’m- I’m sorry --”

“Shut up, Matt!” I bark as I turn around. “Just shut the fuck up!”

I turn back around to not see his face again; I don’t want to know if he’s hurt by my words. I know they’ll only make me cave in for him. 

We fall into tension as I call Trav and explain the entire situation. He groans a few times when I urge him to come over but caves in immediately, without any questions. I don’t turn to Matt once the call is finished, so he moves to sit at another corner as the two of us wait. 

After about some ten minutes, I hear his teeth chattering. I turn around and see him curled up into a ball in the corner, his head between his legs, his dyed blonde hair sticking out everywhere. 

“Why are your teeth chattering?” I ask in monotone voice.

“I’m cold, you idiot!” Matt tells me quietly and he can’t see me rolling my eyes. 

“I thought you grew up in Chicago, you should have some cold resistance, don’t you think?”

“Fuck you, Mark.”

I sigh before getting up. I walk over to the middle of the room and look over at him “Matt?” I call to him; the man slowly looks up at me, and his face and whole body shaking. “Come to the middle of the room, you’re not helping yourself by sitting near the wall.”

“So what? So you can insult me for locking us in?” Matt asks and I hold my breath. 

“Come on, you’re not helping yourself right now.”

Matt caves and sighs defeated, before crawling over. He settles in a ball again just a few inches away from my feet, and I don’t say anything before kneeling down in front of him. I take off the jacket I’m wearing and wrap it around his shoulders, to which he seems to relax into immediately. I put an arm around him as well and rub his arms in a warming motion. 

Matt doesn’t look at me when he moves closer to fit his figure into mine, melting into my shape and my warmth. 

I just hope he doesn’t notice my heart beating this wildly in my chest. 

Eventually he falls asleep into me, and I fall asleep holding him as well. 

***

“Mark!” I feel someone shaking me, “Mark, wake up!”

I slowly open my eyes, seeing Matt still leaning into my chest, sleeping with a worried look on his face, shaking from the cold. I immediately start rubbing his limbs and he moves closer to me, even if he’s drifting away. 

I feel another shove into my back and I turn around, seeing Travis behind me, arms crossed in front of his chest “Aren’t you moving?” 

“Oh, yeah” I nod quickly, turning back to Matt and trying to shake him awake. “Matty, come on, wake up. The door is open.”

“What?” He lifts up his head. “We’re free?” He asks in a groggy voice and I nod. 

“We are,” I tell him with a small smile and he nods as well before getting up, losing himself completely from my grip as I just stand on the floor, watching him walk away with my jacket around him. 

I get up as well and walk out of the freezer. Travis puts a paper on the door saying the lock was broken. “I called the people who installed it while I was on my way over, they’re coming to fix it tomorrow.”

“How long were we in there?” Matt asks

“Honestly, it took me forty minutes to get here so somewhere around that…” Travis explains. 

“Alright,” Matt nods as he returns my jacket to me, “I think I’m going home”.

“Don’t worry about the kitchen, I’ll clean it up for you,” Travis says. 

“Really?” Matt asks and Travis nods. “That’s really nice, thanks Trav.”

“Just go home and get some rest, okay?”

Matt nods again and thanks the both of us before leaving the restaurant. Travis and I just stand awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. 

“What?” I ask, confused when I notice Travis just looking at me from head to toe. 

“You’re distracted, aren’t you?” 

“Well, yeah” I shrug “That’s not a surprise. I usually am.”

“No,” Travis smirks and shakes his head. “You have been for about a week, and I know why.”

“What?” I shake my head. 

“I know about Matt.”

“What?” 

“About you fucking him.”

“You WHAT?!” I stop, frozen in the middle of the kitchen. “Have you been spying on us?”

“Did you fuck in the freezer?”

“Oh yeah, how romantic,” I mock. “Of course not, are you crazy?!? It was just one time!”

“You shouldn’t have fucked him in the bathroom though, that shit echoes everywhere…”

I blink and flop down at a chair by my side, staring blankly into the end of the room. “I can’t believe this,” I whisper to myself.

“Where do you sit with him?”

“What?”

“Are you two together or…?”

“No!!! I…” I shake my head and sigh, “It was only that one time, I told you that…”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Mark.” Travis shakes his head. “Do you like him?” He asks more calmly. 

“Trav…”

“You know I’ll have to talk to him, right?”

“What? No!” I object. “He doesn’t have to know you know!”

“Mark, you know I still have to talk to him anyway.”

I sigh and look down shaking my head. “Let me talk to him.”

“Yeah, right…” Travis scoffs “What are you even going to tell him? I know you like him, Mark,” He says and I snap my eyes back to my partner. “I’m not stupid, I know how you act in situations like these… This cannot happen ever again and you know it.”

“But-”

“Do you want to lose another cook?” I sigh again and look at Travis, who’s staring pitifully at me. “I’m sorry, but we can’t do this anymore, Mark.” Then he sighs as well. “We can’t keep running around in circles. Matt is… Matt is our last hope; you know that without Tom and Angela we’re nothing… And I know this restaurant is everything to you, and it is to me too…”

I look at him, and I know it’s true. I shake my head and get up, storming out of the restaurant and finding my way back to my car. 

***

The next workday starts like any other, except for the people who are fixing the freezer door, and who take up a lot of space in the kitchen as we set up to start for the night. 

Matt is continuing to finish what he started the night before, and never finished for obvious reasons. I stop right by his side, Travis’s words echoing in my mind that I should talk to him. Matt looks surprised at me but soon smiles. Something hurts in my chest as I try to remain serious.

“Hey Mark,” He says cheerfully when he sees me watching him work. “What’s up?”

“We… We need to talk, actually,” I whisper to him, remaining serious, his smile quickly faltering and he drops his wooden spoon, turning to me concerned. 

“Is it about the door? I told you I’m really sorry about that.” He says desperately, but I shake my head.

“No! I mean… that wasn’t your fault, that could’ve happened to anyone…”

“Is… Is something wrong?”

“I- I thought I should make it clear to you that we can’t sleep together anymore…” I rip it off quickly, like a Band-Aid. I figure it’s the best way.

Matt blinks a few times and purses his lips together before nodding. “Of course.”

“It’s an explan- Wait, what?”

“Yeah,” Matt nods and turns back to his food. “It was a bad idea in the first place anyway…”

“I don’t thi-”

“It was one time, Mark. We might as well forget it ever happened…” Matt interrupts, not looking at me.

“Hm, I guess.” I nod again, but he doesn’t react back to me. “Alright,” I say before turning around and leaving, trying to forget about it.

I keep walking and then I suddenly stop and frown to myself. I mean, it wasn’t like we had anything, but I never wanted him to think that. It wasn’t like I promised him anything anyways, but I still wanted him to be affected somehow. 

Didn’t it hurt him as much as it hurt me?

I turn around, still frowning, and I walk up to him, stopping by his side again 

“Are you pissed?” I ask, suddenly growing a tad bit mad as well.

Matt throws the spoon into the counter making a clanking sound, the other cooks snap their heads curiously at us. 

“Well, I don’t know,” he said in a sarcastic voice, but keeping his tone low. “Why don’t you rub it in my face some more?”

“Rub it in your face?” I whisper outraged, “I am your boss!” Then a bit louder, “I get to make and change the rules at the times I desire for the reasons I desire!” I tell him, pointing at my chest. 

“So above of everyone else, ooooh!” Matt gestured with his hands, doing fake surprise movements. “You have told me you’re my boss at least a thousand times since I was hired. I am a grown man! I know what I do with my dick.” He says as he tries to dodge past me to leave the kitchen. 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that!”

“Oh really?” Matt stops and turns around, everyone is watching us at this point, since we’re practically screaming at each other. “I should’ve known you were putting up an act to break me down! I should’ve known that you wouldn’t be compassionate to me even for a second! I should’ve known you’d never give me a shot!”

The words hit me like a train because I really do care about him. I think he’s the greatest person who has worked here. I think he’s humble and cares about everyone around him and just… I just want him to care about me, too. Though I’m panicking and when I panic, my outlet… Is to just yell. 

“Oh please! You know nothing about me! You know nothing about what I feel!”

“Really? So, what do you feel?” Matt crosses both arms on his chest. 

The words almost escape from my mouth, but I look around and see everyone looking at the two of us. Travis, Rebecca, Mikel… Everyone seems to want to hear what I have to say. 

I cross my arms in front of my chest and lift up my chin. 

“I think you’re stupid and clumsy and you only know how to fuck up!” I yell again and Matt’s eyes widen, even I had to admit those words were weird coming out of my lips. 

“You know what?” Matt purses his lips and pulls open his chef jacket, pulling out the buttons and taking it off, showing off his white undershirt. My eyes widen as he crumples it into a ball and angrily throws it on the ground, his eyes locked with mine, and they seem genuinely hurt, it hurts me too. “I quit.” He adds more quietly, still looking into my eyes. 

Matt is staring at me as he dodges past my shoulder. I don’t turn around as he walks away through the back door, but I cringe inside when it closes with a loud bang and I try to not let it show on the outside. I look up again and all eyes are staring at me, they quickly turn and move or continue to pretend nothing has happened. 

My eyes meet Travis’s and Rebecca’s, hers seem disappointed and sad; his, mad and angry. I sigh and turn around back to the restaurant, where I knew I was needed. 

***

I manage to avoid going to the kitchen at all the next day, and since Travis doesn’t show up, I know things will be easier to deal with. Back home, I basically don’t eat and just sleep the entire day, I keep thinking about running after Matt, telling him I’m sorry, but I just have too much pride for that, so it’s not at all a possibility. 

And I’m just too scared he’ll only spit in my face once I find him.

I manage to avoid Travis and Rebecca just fine until Wednesday night. Rebecca came all the way to the front door, grabbing me by the arm while I was talking to a guest and just simply dragged me away mid-sentence. 

“…be able to get yo- Hey!” I protest as I feel her tight grip on my skin. 

“You have to bring Matt back!” She hisses at me 

“What?” I ask confused as I rub my arm where she practically carved her short nails into me. 

“Mikel can’t handle half the job Matt did! There was a reason Angela left him in charge!” Rebecca protested. “Matt was clumsy, but he was only clumsy when you were around! And when you scolded him!”

I sigh and look down, I was never aware I was the reason he was like that, it somehow pleases me, but at the same time, it still makes me upset. Upset that I was a jerk to him when he deserved nothing of what I did to him. 

“He was perfect for us, Mark. You have to bring him back!” Rebecca whines.

I shake my head, and I know I’m giving her hurt eyes. “Rebecca, I… I really can’t.”

“Why not?” She shakes her head, confused “Please Mark! What is it that you have so strongly against Matt?”

“I…” I shake my head, “I don’t know.”

“Well,” She looks up at me again, “You better find out then. Because this restaurant is going to go to ashes without him.”

And with that, she hits me right in the open wound. 

Because it’s true. 

It’s true that this restaurant’s soul was solely Angela when Tom left. Matt managed to do that by just being himself. I close my eyes and push my pride aside. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” I sigh and Rebecca pats me in the shoulder. 

“You better,” she says and storms out again, back into the kitchen, no sympathy. 

I look around myself and see Clarisse walking by. I grab her by the arm, just like Rebecca did to me. 

“Ow! Mark!” Clarisse whines as I pull her closer, “that hurts!”

I quickly bring my arm down again. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, “I need you to replace me tonight.”

Her eyes quickly widen, “You need WHAT?”

“You heard me, I need you to seat the guests.”

“Yeah, hm… Of course!” Clarisse smiles big, I guess this is the shot she has been waiting for since she got hired. 

“Alright, there’s an old dress of Angela’s in the meeting room, you can go put that on and then come back, is that okay?”

“Sure! I… I promise I’ll do a good job!”

“Yeah yeah yeah, great!” I pat her on the shoulder and storm out to the kitchen, running through it and exiting in the back, grabbing my phone and calling an Uber, then I make a call and press the phone to my ear, waiting for it to pick up. 

“Hey! What the heck?” The person in the other end picks up “You haven’t called me in over a month!”

“Get yourself ready because I am picking you up,” I tell them. 

“Ooh nice, are you finally taking me on a date?”

“Just get dressed!” I hiss into the phone and hang up

***

Pete forces a shot glass down my throat and I cringe as soon as the bitter liquid is down. 

“I hate you, did you know that?” I shake my head madly to try to get rid of its taste.

“No, you love me.” Pete replies. 

“No, I don’t,” I say as I take another swig of my whiskey. 

“So, will you ever tell me what happened?” Pete raises an eyebrow. 

“I just want to get drunk.” I say without looking at him. 

“Alright!” He throws both his hands up. “That’s okay too, I guess.”

We stay in silence for a while, until I speak again. “Do you think I’m rude?”

“There we go.”

“Do you think I am an awful person?” I ask turning to him as I point to my own chest.

“Rude? Yes. Awful person? Not really.”

“Why?”

“Well, as far as I know you’ve always been a strict boss, but everything got worse when Tom left, you know? I don’t think you were ever settled after that.”

“What do you mean?” I frown and Pete smirks. 

“You… I guess you created this armour around you, you know?” Pete explains. “You created an armour because you were hurt by someone you love and… And I guess part of you took that into work because that’s what you really love!”

“My… My co-workers are scared of me, did you know that?”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” Pete scoffs. “You have to admit, Mon Giuseppe was something that you and Tom had together, and you’re only so attached to it because it’s all you have left!”

It sinks in; it sinks in to me really hard. 

I yank my phone out from my pocket and start dialling a number. Pete frowns and pulls the iPhone out of my hands. “Hey!” I protest, but Pete is already looking at the screen name. 

“You are not calling Tom!”

“It’s none of your business!” I protest, “give me my phone back!” 

“No!” Pete yells and gets up as I tackle him. “Mark! You’re drunk!”

“NO! GIMME!” I yell as well and we suddenly become the center of attention in the bar. Then both of us fall to the ground, struggling over the light up screen. 

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” A drunk girl near us starts shouting, enjoying it way too much. 

“Fuck you, Pete!” I shout as I manage to take the phone away from his hand, I try to dial the number again but this time Pete is pinning me down on the floor, both his legs locked around my hips. 

“Not today!” He shouts again and grabs my phone, sliding it on the floor across the bar. 

“HEY!”

“I AM NOT LETTING YOU DO THIS!” Pete yells into my face and I feel his hand slapping my cheek. 


	9. God Save the Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwHZRYk3Wb0

I wake up in a daze; I have no idea of where I am, or how I got here.

I look around as I sit up on the white couch with golden, expensive pillows. There are fancy paintings up the walls, but no pictures. I try to remember the events from the night before, Rebecca hissing at me and Pete pouring alcohol down his throat, and then him slapping me on the face.

My hands rub my eyes and then focus on my lap and I suddenly freeze, looking at the sheets I was being covered with. It was a blue and white quilt, a really old one to be exact. I recognize it as my own from ages ago.

Suddenly I knew where I was.

I quickly got up and looked around for my stuff, finding my phone, my wallet and my house keys on the glass dinner table. I rush over and pick them up, stuffing them in my shirt pockets. I take my jacket from behind one of the chairs and yank it over my shoulders, going to the door and trying to open it.

“Where are you going?” A confused voice asks from behind me and I stop, slowly turning around. “You thought you could just slip away like that?” Tom laughs. 

I sigh and turn to him. “Look, I have no idea what it was we did last night but I’m not he-”

“Mark, we did nothing!” Tom protests, walking into the room. “You basically just flopped on the couch and cried the entire time…”

“Oh.” I frown as I look back to the couch for a moment. “How… How did I get here?”

“Do you want coffee and maybe some medication so we can at least talk?” He asks raising an eyebrow and I sigh before nodding, throwing myself on the couch again. Tom runs into the kitchen and comes back with two mugs of coffee and a bottle of pills. I take two out and wash it down with the bitter drink. 

“Okay, so…” I start as Tom sits down on the coffee table across from me. “How did I get here?”

“I don’t think you know this yet but you… You have a big purple blotch on your face,” Tom tells me worriedly, pointing at my cheek

“Oh yeah, Pete hit me to stop me from calling you.” I nod remembering, touching my cheek, it doesn’t really hurt right now, but it should soon enough.

“He failed then,” Tom scoffs and I purse my lips together. 

“Sooo… What else happened?” I ask as I rub my head, some pain kicking in. 

“Well, you didn’t call or anything… You just showed up at the door at like… 3am. You were obviously drunk, but I opened the door and let you in. Then, you sat down on the couch and started crying and saying some gibberish shit and eventually you fell asleep, tired out.” Tom explains to me, letting out a sigh at the end.

“Oh, it was a fun night then.” I force out a smile and get up. “Bye then!”

“Not so quick!” Tom grabs my arm and forces me to sit down on the couch again. I flop down without much effort from him; I’m really weak and tired at the moment. “You want to tell me what made you want to show up here again when you’ve been treating me like crap for the last three years since I moved back into town?”

“I…” I start and look down at my hands, “I really love Mon Giuseppe, you know that… And… And it was something that we started together and I feel that I am so attached to it because once you were gone, and,” I sigh, “And last night I finally realized that was it, you know? To get over you, and move on, I need to let go of Mon Giuseppe.”

Tom’s eyes widen, I don’t think he was waiting for me to confess I was somehow still hung up on what we had years ago, I don’t think he was waiting for me to be ready for this. 

“It was the only thing that I had left of you, you know…” I explain to him and our eyes meet “And it’s sad because that restaurant truly is the only thing I have!”

“And why is that only bothering you now?” Tom asks, rubbing both hands together “Did you meet someone?”

“I…” I start again, “I slept with Matt and I know that it was stupi-”

“Wait, you what?” Tom laughs. “You slept with your chef?”

I nod.

“Mark,” Tom chuckles and shakes his head. “Do you like him?”

I nod again, I don’t even hesitate.

“Shit,” Tom whispers with a grin “What happened? Tell me.” He smiles and pats me on the knee, and I just look at him confused. “Come on, don’t give me that look!” He whines and I can’t help but smile just a little.

I have to admit, I miss the hell out of having Tom around.

“We basically had this huge fight and he quit the job and… And honestly without you and Angela the restaurant is nothing and… And he completed it somehow,” I tell him. “I guess I came out looking for you because I think that… That I should quit.”

“What? Why?” Tom wonders, confused. “You love Mon Giuseppe!”

“That’s the thing! My subordinates are scared of me! Our last hope to keep the place standing quit because of me and I know he won’t come back because of me as well, so…” I sigh and look down at my hands, and I can’t quite believe these words are coming out of my mouth, “So I’m thinking about making way for him to come back. I care more about the place than I care about myself.”

“Mark.” Tom sighs as well. “Listen to me. You don’t have to quit, alright? You… You clearly like this dude so… Why don’t you try to work things out?”

“Because I don’t want it to be you and me all over again.″

Tom breathes in, “Oh.”

I think that deep down; I like the idea of talking to Tom again.

“Yeah.”

“Okay…” Tom nods, refraining back from me. “I… I am really sorry, about everything,” he says and I look up, seeing sincerity in his eyes. “You stood by my side through my worst times and I just left without warning in the most jackass way possible. I hurt you a great deal and I could never pay you back, even with all the jokes I still make these days… But I need to let you know that I don’t regret falling in love with you, because you were the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I suddenly remember all the struggles I went through, the depression and the anxiety, the haunting thoughts that followed me around for years, and still, I try to hide the scars our relationship left on me. But I figure it’s time I wear them with pride, because it shows I’ve been apart of something big, and that I’m stronger because of it.

Tom had never said, ‘I’m sorry’ before.

“You… This is the first time you’ve told me that.”

“I know.” He nods. “I really fucking mean it.”

“Thanks” I smile weakly “It does mean a lot”

It’s over; I’m finally over Tom. This is the moment I can finally pin point it. I am over him and I didn’t even know I was still hung up on it. I can finally move on and have the life I’ve wished to have for the past five years since he left without any reason.

I am ready to leave the restaurant in the hands of someone who cares more about it than I do.

“I… I guess I should go” I say and stand up, wrapping my suit jacket around me, until Tom gets up as well on my way to the door

“Mark?” He calls to me and I stop, turning around to him. 

“Yes?”

“I want you to remember that love is not going to leave you bent, or cracked. I mean, it’s going to leave you broken, sure,” Tom smiles. “But isn’t love the only thing that matters?”

I breathe in deep, I look at him as I place my hand on the doorknob of his apartment I had never been to before, as if I knew it by heart. I nod and smile as well.

“It is.”

Tom gives me a small wave before I close the door behind myself.

I walk down the hallway and stop halfway before the elevator; I look back at the door and pause to think before turning around. I walk up to the door again and hesitate a little before knocking on the door. 

Tom opens the door again and looks down at me; I forgot how brown his eyes actually were. 

“What?” He whispers to me. 

“We should hang out some time” I tell him, but then I think it better “You, me and Travis… You know?”

Tom smiles, “Sounds great”

“Awesome.” I nod before turning around again

***

After a shower and more coffee to clear my head, I sit down in my living room and give my lawyer a call, trying to set things with her and discuss what I really want out from the restaurant.

“I want to be all out,” I tell her. “I want to sell my shares.”

“Alright,” She says at the other end, “And whom are you selling it to?”

“I have someone in mind but I need to talk to them first.”

“Have you talked to Angela or Travis?” 

“I agreed to meet with Travis in half an hour for lunch,” I explain to her as I close my button down. “He’ll probably talk me out of it.”

“He will,” she chuckles. “I still think it’s crazy”

“It might be, but it’s the right thing to do.”

“Mark, the important thing is… Is this what you want?”

I sigh. “Yes.”

“Alright then… Give me a call when you decide.”

“Sure,” I say and we hang up. It takes me another twenty minutes to leave. I meet up with Travis and as always, he is right on time. I see him at a table from afar and join him.

“Hey buddy!” Travis smiles and lifts up his sunglasses “You just ran away yesterday, is something wrong?”

“No, I… I actually feel pretty good.” I nod at him and he frowns at me then with a smile.

“What are you up to, Hoppus?” He asks suspiciously as he takes a sip from his iced tea. 

“I want to quit the partnership.” I tell him and Travis stops for a second before laughing.

 “I’m… I’m not joking.”

“Oh,” His eyes widen. “Really?” 

I nod. “I want to leave and I’m already planning on not coming to work tonight, Clarisse can have my position…”

“Rebecca told me she was doing a great job yesterday,” Travis explains, “but… but this makes no sense, I mean, why?” He asks confused. “Why now? Why all of the sudden?”

“This restaurant is bigger than me, Trav” I explain to him, “I’m going to tell you everything but… but I just need you to forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” Travis laughs, “Mark, this is your life! You get to do what you want with it! I’m not going to be mad…”

“Really?”

“Yes!” Travis smiles “Of course”

“Thanks” I smile as well “So…”

***

Travis pulls over the curb of the familiar house. I stop and stare at it from his convertible.

“This is the right address, right?” He asks and I nod in return. “Are… Are you nervous?” 

I shake my head.

“Thanks for driving me here.”

“You’re welcome,” Travis smiles back and we fist bump before I get out of the car and walk up to the front door, ringing the doorbell. I hear the car leaving from behind me. 

It takes a couple more rings until the door opens. Matt is wearing a dark gray shirt and yellow pyjama pants, a bowl of ice cream in his hand. I blink a few times as he leans his hip against the doorframe and yanks the spoon out from his mouth.

“What are you doing here?” He asks pointing the spoon towards me swiftly. 

“We need to talk.”

“About?”

“I was hoping you would let me in?” I ask putting both hands in the pockets of my jeans. Matt takes another spoonful of his strawberry ice cream and rolls his eyes before making way for me to come in. His living room is already familiar, so I decide to make myself comfortable on his couch. 

He sits on the armchair across from me, propping his feet on the coffee table and continuing to eat out from his bowl

“First, I came here to apologize” I start, he immediately looks up from his bowl and at me, something inside of me goes soft now that I have his attention. “I acted like a real jerk the entire time, since you were hired, and I was really scared to become what I was, so not only am I sorry, I am also insanely ashamed of myself and you didn’t deserve any of how I treated you.”

“Well,” Matt starts, placing his bowl on the coffee table. “That’s nice”

“So…” I move around a little, “Do you forgive me?”

“Maybe,” Matt ponders a little. “Doesn’t mean I’m coming back to work with you,” he says as he crosses his arms over his chest and I sigh.

“That’s the other thing,” I continue, “I’m not going to continue working at Mon Guiseppe.”

Matt looks at me again and frowns. He looks at me confused and sits closer, placing both elbows on his knees. “You quit your job?”

“Yes, I’m selling my share,” I nod 

“But… But I thought this restaurant was everything you had!” Matt protests 

“It is, but I learned within this past week that the place is nothing without its soul and… I need you back, Matt. I mean, they do! Mon Giuseppe does!” I shake my head, “I understand that the two of us working together doesn’t really work out so… So I am ready to be a grown up and step aside, let you and the place be happy…”

“Is this a scam for me to come back?” Matt frowns and I shake my head. 

“No scam, I promise!” I say as I lift up a hand, as in an oath “I… I already have plans, I guess…”

“Plans?”

“Yeah! Like, moving to England or something, you know?” I smile at him and I know I’m giddy just thinking about it “I need to learn to love myself first and I hope this is the right way to do it”

“Wow” Matt’s eyes widen 

“I always wanted to move there and I guess it’s now or never, you know?” I shrug.

“Sure,” Matt nods “Sure thing”

“So…” I start again “Will you come back?”

Matt stops and thinks for a second. I let him, I figure he needs his space to think this through; it’s a big decision anyway…

Matt looks at me and sighs, “I will.” He smiles and nods.

I breathe out relieved, as everything falls back into place. I close my eyes and see the restaurant in front of me. I see Travis, I see Tom, I see Angela, and I’m smiling at her, and we’re happy, the four of us are happy, the four of us love our jobs and… And it downs to me, nothing of that will happen again. I won’t have that pride again. And it hurts pretty fucking bad

“Mark?” Matt calls me, a lot closer now. “Mark?”

I open my eyes “Yes?”

Matt is sitting at the coffee table now, really close to me, way closer than Tom was before. I blink and him and he cleans away the tears I hadn’t noticed that had fallen into my face

“Are you really sure this is what you want to do?” He asks me and I feel more tears streaming down my cheeks, my breathing suddenly gets hitched and then I’m officially crying. 

“Yes”

“Hey!” He whispers to me, taking both my hands on his, trying to calm me down “I know it’s a tough move but… But Mark, I feel like I should be honest with you”

“What is it?” 

“I don’t really like Mon Giuseppe.” He tells me, and I wait for the knife to stab me, or for the train to collide against my chest. But it doesn’t, it doesn’t surprise me. At all.

“You say I’m the soul of the place but… But I told you before it’s not something I look forward to everyday, it’s not something I give my heart and soul to… I might be part of it but… But it’s not part of me!” He explains placing a hand on his chest, the other one still holding on to me “Don’t get me wrong, I love how passionate you are and I don’t plan on falling short on you”

“But it’s not what truly matters” I add and Matt shakes his head 

“It’s not” He tells me as he looks into my eyes, I drown myself in their deep blue “I’m sorry”

“I understand” I nod to him “I know what you mean”

Matt squeezes both my hands and smiles, I smile back but soon I turn myself to think about all of these sudden changes and my heart hurts, it’s like seeing your kid leave home. I feel tears on my cheeks again and my throat closes up, Matt cleans the tears away again.

“It’s okay,” He assures me as he scoots closer. “You’re going to get over this, you’re going to be fine. I promise I’ll do the best I can, alright?”

I nod, because I do trust him, I do think he’s going to do an amazing job. I open my eyes and he’s really close to me, but he’s worried, he looks at me like I might break at any moment. My breathing ceases and he brushes some hair out of my face before leaning in, leaving a sweet kiss on my lips.

I melt into it, and it’s the simplest, most passionate thing someone has done for me in ages. He pulls back and smiles into my eyes, letting me know that he knows how I feel about him, and that he feels the same.

My right hand leaves his and runs over his shoulder, caressing it. I pull him into another kiss, taking his upper lip between mine this time, letting us appreciate the moment. He scoots closer on the coffee table and puts his knees between my legs, taking the kiss deeper, but respecting my pace.

Matt’s hands smoothly slide down my side and towards my hips, resting there. I whine into his mouth when I feel them squeezing the skin there, and I have to admit my body is not the best in shape right now, but I couldn’t care less about that at the moment.

He starts caressing the skin there, lifting up the shirt a little, and I grab him by his shirt, pulling him closer.

“Hm -” He pulls back a little, looking at me “Mark, I-” He starts, but I don’t let him finish as I kiss him again. I really don’t want him to stop this, I have given no fucks so far today, I don’t want this to be an exception. “Mark do…” He pulls away again “Do you really want this?”

His eyes look into mine, concerned, I guess he figures this is hell or that I am making a mistake, and honestly, I was the one making the mistake. I made the mistake of everything I did to him.

“Yes,” I nod. “Yes, I do.”

He smiles and nods at me, still looking into my eyes. “Alright,” Matt whispers, then he kisses me again and his hands start exploring the inside of my shirt, slowly going up my sides.

I moan into his mouth again and open it further, pulling him onto the couch with me, and like instinct, he leads me to lie down and be under him. Matt continues to explore under my shirt, even lifting it up a little so his arms could fit in better.

He moves his lips to kiss my neck and I take the time to breathe. I close my eyes and try to appreciate the moment. When he moves back to my lips, his hands move further and his thumb reaches my nipple, making me moan loudly for the first time.

“Do you like that?” Matt looks into my eyes, burning holes into my skin. His cheeks are flushed and his lips hang open, I nod, still hypnotized by him. “Okay.” He nods back, and still staring into my eyes, he strokes my nipple again, getting another moan from my lips. 

Matt starts stroking it more and I keep moaning, closing my eyes and throwing my head back. He patiently takes the hem of my shirt and starts pulling it up, urging me to just take it off. I sit up and yank it off my body, throwing it on the floor.

Matt stares at me like I’m the most beautiful creature ever, I honestly start to wonder if he’s okay, but then he takes his time to kiss my stomach, to caress my sides as he moved up his kisses, doing what seemed to be appreciating every inch of my skin. I suddenly grew very aware of that and started shying away.

He moves to my neck again, leaving a trail of kisses there, then he rests his chest on mine and leans into my ear “Is everything okay?” He asks concerned.

“Yeah, why?” I answer, turning my face to him.

“You… You seem to not like me kissing your body” He tells me in a whisper. 

“I,” I shake my head. “I just feel self conscious.”

“Why?” Matt scoffs and I shrug.

“I don’t know, I’m just not in the best of shape right now.” 

“Mark,” Matt begins again, “You look perfect, okay?” He kisses my cheek sweetly. “You’re handsome.” 

“Stop lying,” I laugh and he shakes his head. 

“Come on,” He whispers again, “Just relax, alright?”

Matt starts kissing my neck again and I nod, giving in to pleasure. His thumb moves back to my nipple and he starts to leave a trail of kisses down my chest, moving on to my stomach…

“Matt?” I call him. 

“Yes?” He answers between kisses

“Do… Do you want to take this somewhere else?” 

Matt suddenly looks up at me again; he moves back up to my lips and kisses them gently “Are you sure?”

I nod, “Yes.”

Matt nods as well, then moves to stand on both his feet, taking me by the hand as he helped me get up. We walked inside, his hand always wrapped in mine, leading the way. Matt opened up the door to his room and we got in, he started kissing me as soon as he closed the door. He helped me climb on his bed, and he kissed my stomach again as he started undoing my zipper.

I moan into his mouth and he leaned into my ear again. “Just relax, can you do that?”

I nod, his nose caressing my neck and I chuckle. “God, that tickles”

He laughs as well. “I know.”


	10. It Takes Two To Mango

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am planning on posting an epilogue on my blog deathcomealive.tumblr.com so yeah!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

I lie in his arms in complete bliss, completely amazed. I haven’t been this happy in years, I haven’t had sex this amazing in ages. Matt smiles and looks down into my eyes before leaving a kiss on my forehead 

“So…” He starts “Am I supposed to go to work now?”

“If you want…” I shrug “I haven’t told anyone you’re coming back yet…”

“I’m not feeling too good, I think I should just stay in bed”

“Really?” I laugh and he nods “Do you need company?”

Matt slowly starts to smile “Absolutely” He then leans in and kisses me again, starting to make things get heated between us, until it blows into a full makeout session

The both of us are already way too into it when my phone starts ringing “Fuck” I whisper “Just ignore it, alright?” I tell him and Matt nods, agreeing with me, and it stops. I move to his neck, leaving kisse-

And it starts again. 

Matt just shoves me away from him “Oh my God! Can you go turn that off?”

“Yeah yeah” I answer quickly as I get up, looking for my pants on the floor, I lean down and without even checking I turn it to silent mode. I crawl back on the bed with him and place the phone on the nightstand, my mouth attaching itself to Matt’s again. 

My hand starts exploring his chest mid-kiss, eventually it starts going downer and downer, until it reaches his dick, my fingers wrapping themselves around it. I smile when I make a moan come out of his lips when he throws his head back. I start stroking him and he goes on whining and humming with my movements. I move to kiss his neck, let-

“That’s your phone” I tell him before he sighs tiredly with his phone ringing

“Can you check who it is? Please” He asks me and I prop on my hand to look at his phone yelling from the nightstand 

‘It’s Travis” I tell him, I frown and press the button of my own phone, seeing eight missing calls from Travis, five from Rebecca, two from Clarisse “They’ve been calling me from the restaurant, I already told them I’m not going anymore”

“They’re probably just calling me after you” Matt sits up 

“Yeah, I guess” I shake my head and turn around to him again, he leaves a kiss on my lips, urging me to go back to what we were doing “Matt-” I suddenly stop him 

“Yeah?” He asks me, his eyes closed, his nose caressing my cheek 

“I’m worried” I tell him “I think I should call back”

Matt pulls back and nods, swallowing dry. I caress his cheek before turning to my phone, picking it up and calling Travis, it takes him a few rings. 

“Mark!” He breathes out desperately at the other end “Where are you? I have been calling you for ages! Everyone is!”

“Trav, calm down” I laugh “I’m still over at Matt’s, he agreed to come back, we’ve talking this entire time…” I say and Matt smirks, rolling his eyes. 

“Mark, I… We need you here”

I suddenly grow worried “Why? Did something happen?”

“The restaurant… It caught fire”

I died at that moment right there. 

“It what?”

“What happened?” Matt asks worried

“Mon Giuseppe is burning to nothing right at this exact moment, Mark” Travis tells me, his voice swollen up, as if he had been crying. 

I had never seen Travis cry before. 

“I’ll be there in fifteen” I say as I hang up

***

I am aware I have glassy eyes the entire trip to the restaurant. Matt doesn’t say anything, he just tries to make sure I don’t have a breakdown before we get there. We sit together in the back of the Uber as we ride in complete shock. 

He doesn’t ask what I’m feeling, he doesn’t ask me if I’m okay. He knows I am crumbling inside, he knows this is my worst nightmare. In the end, that was the longest ride I ever took in my entire life. 

When we get there, the street is closed, so we have to walk towards the restaurant, but a police officer stops us “Where do you lads think you’re going?” He asks defiantly as he puts an arm in front of Matt and I

“I own the damn restaurant!” I shout at him 

“And I’m the sous-chef!” Matt pipes in from behind me 

“Sorry, I need credentials” The policeman said pretending to be upset, but then I see Travis talking on his phone, pacing around nervously 

“TRAVIS!” I shout and wave my arms around, my friend looks our way and comes over, turning off his phone 

“Finally you guys arrived!” He tells us tiredly, he looks like shit “Let them in” He tells the police officer and I give him a mean look, but he just ignores me. 

“What happened?” I ask worried as Travis wraps an arm around me, walking closer to where a fire truck was trying to put it out, the fire had already spread to the house next door through their tree, that had grown way too big. 

“It was a gas explosion, Mikel and Brett were the only ones in the kitchen though”

“Are they okay?” Matt asks worried 

Travis shrugs “They were both already taken to the hospital, no one knows about their state yet, Brett looked better than Mikel though”

“God” I sigh, I don’t think I have ever been this anxious in my life, my entire life is falling apart right in front of me. 

That’s when I stop and look at it, it hurts me in the deepest core of my heart. There’s no way this place is ever going to be what it used to. 

“Did anyone else get hurt?” I gulp dryly 

“Clarisse had a panic attack and Rebecca is with her, but other than that we think Jeremy broke his wrist trying to open the fire extinguisher” Travis explains upset “The people from insurance are already here and from what it seems it’s going to be good coverage”

“That’s good I guess” I nod upset and Travis agrees with me, it’s still not good news 

“I’m sorry” Travis tells me and I nod “I know it still meant a great deal to you”

I sigh in brokenly and the first tear falls into my cheek as I eye the fire by our side. Travis does the same and I see him also quickly wipe a tear away, he looks my way again and pulls me into a hug. Travis had never hugged me this tight, I don’t think Travis and I have really hugged at all in our lives, he’s more of a ‘pat in the back’ type of guy. 

The gesture still means a thousand words I know he doesn’t have the guts to say. 

I sob into his shoulder, completely breaking down. Travis pulls away and holds me by the shoulders. I feel a hand on my arm, and I immediately look to my side to see Travis helping Matt get a hold of me, I completely lose my balance, but Matt catches me right on time, holding me to his chest. 

“Shh” He soothes me “It’s going to be alright, okay?”

I only sob harder, and I know I’m leaving his shirt completely wet 

“I need to go talk to the insurance people, when he calms down take him over with me, alright?” I hear Travis voice and I feel Matt nod to him “I’ll have someone bring some water over”

I don’t care anymore, nothing else matters, I need to cry this out, I need to get rid of this pain, because it’s like I lost a child, I just lost a huge part of me, when I had been feeling so smug about moving on, when the truth is I wasn’t not even a bit ready. 

“Come on, baby” Matt whispers to me, caressing my hair “Let’s get you seated, okay?”

Matt leads me away from the fire and helps me sit down on the curb, he then cleans away my tears with his thumb, giving me a sad smile. 

“Aren’t you sad?” I question him 

Matt shakes his head “I’m sad for you”

“God, I must look so pathetic”

“Mark, it’s okay, you completely have the upper hand right now, alright?” He asks and I nod, letting him comfort me. I continue to sob, on his shoulder, on my own hands, on his lap. I can’t hold myself, and I don’t want to. 

Suddenly I feel myself soothing down, the crying ceasing. I lie down on the dirty LA street floor with my head on Matt’s lap, having his hand caress my hair in circles while I try to get my shit together. 

I hear footsteps coming our way, and I imagine it’s Travis, so I open my eyes and look up, and to my surprise, I see fucking Tom DeLonge. 

I sit up, cleaning away my tears “What are you doing here?” I ask as I look up to him. Tom shrugs, looking around, his eyes are swollen, and I know he has been crying too. 

It’s been five years, and not even the coldest guy I know is able to hold himself. 

“I… I still own part of it, you know?” Tom shakes his head and looks away. 

I get up, looking at him, seeing sympathy and sadness in his eyes. Tom is not as cold-hearted as I made him to be all these years. I loved him for being kind and my best-friend. I know that the once lovable Tom is still inside of him, because he’s inside of me too, and I owe a lot to that boy who lived in the California mountains tasting wine and making jokes I fell in love with once before

Tom pulls me into a hug, and I do the same for him. I take a breath and can’t hold it in, I sneeze on his shirt, getting it all wet

“God, Mark!” What the fuck!” Tom shouts and I pull back laughing, he then starts laughing too “Don’t worry, I got a spare in the car”

“I’m sorry” I tell him, my smile fading away as I clean my nose on the sleeve of Matt’s shirt he borrowed to me. Tom looks at me sadly “Thank you for today”

“You’re welcome” He winks at me and steps back, turning to Matt “Bye buddy” 

“Bye” Matt waves him away and I sit down by his side again.

“Are you feeling better?” Matt wraps an arm around my shoulder and I nod 

“I still need to talk to the insurance people though” I sigh sadly, the fire was already controlled and was now burning out, probably in an hour it would be totally gone

“I can take you home afterwards, okay?” Matt asks and I nod, looking into his eyes. What did I do to deserve so much care? What did I do to deserve so much of him? 

Why doesn’t he hate me?

Matt walks over with me to where the other people were and we discussed some stuff, talked over some issues and set up a few meetings. A couple of hours later when the entire fire was gone, Travis agreed to pick me up in the afternoon to go check on Brett and Mikel in the hospital, since they would be there for a while. 

Matt asked an Uber for the two of us and he took me home, he helped me inside and made food for me when I was in the shower. I sat down in my bed and he took away the dishes once I was done, then he came over to say goodbye. 

“Are you going to be okay?” I ask him worriedly 

“Sure, I’m picking up another Uber, don’t worry” He says casually “Goodnight, Mark” Matt tells me as he closes the door to the room, I say it back to him. 

I sigh very deeply once he’s gone

“Matt!” I yell over him, then the door of the bedroom opens up and Matt sticks his head inside 

“What? You need anything?”

“I…” I frown to myself, I can’t believe I’m doing this “Can you sleep here tonight?”

“You want me to sleep over?” Matt chuckles 

“I need to be with someone right now and… And you can sleep on the couch I guess, it’s spacious and comfy, a person sleeps there just fine…”

“Is that what you want?” Matt asks and I nod

“It is” 

“Okay” He smiles “I’ll be there if you need anything”

“Alright” I smile back and he closes the door behind himself as he leaves the room. I hear the water going off in the next room, lullying me to sleep. 

***

I wake up disoriented in the middle of the night, I just had a nightmare in which the restaurant was beggining to caught on fire, I was there, and there was nothing I could’ve done. 

I stand on my own two feet and exit the room, going to the living room and climbing on the couch. I feel my heart beating faster when I feel the heat of Matt’s body near mine, he automatically wraps an arm around my middle and cuddles me in. 

“Are you okay?” He asks with his eyes closed 

“Not really”

“What’s wrong?” Matt forces himself to open up his eyes, I look into them 

“I need to tell you something”

“Well, what is it?”

“I like you, Matt” I tell him and his eyes widen “I really like you”

Matt smiles sadly at me “I really like you too, Mark”

“Yeah, but… But why?”

Matt chuckles and moves a hand to my cheek, caressing it “Mark, you’re so much more than what you think you are” He whispers to me “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“Are you really moving to London?”

I shrug “I don’t know yet, probably. I guess a lot depends on the restaurant insurance now”

“Well” Matt smiles “Do you want to go on a date with me before that happens?”

I start to smile, smile big. I have no strings tying me down now, I have nothing holding me back. No past relationships, no job, no pride or guilt. I get to finally start anew. 

“Will you wear that eyeliner?” I bite my lip 

“Only for you” He whispers before leaning in to give me a kiss. 

That was when I realized I was falling in love with him.


End file.
